I need him…
July 15, 2008 by Kerri Aldrich
Filed under Relationships
There are so very many ways that I need Bald Man, and not just the fun ones. 
I need him to reach back in the very top of the kitchen cupboard (and I’m not short, so that is really a need). I need him to take out the bathroom trash (cuz it’s nasty with diapers). I need him to love my family and remind me that I love them (even though they sometimes drive me batty). I need to remind him that we’re always on the same team. He’s good at that.
Like many wives, what I don’t need (ha…I wrote kneed the first time) is my hubby trying to fix my problems for me. Bald Man learned that one at a relatively early stage. It’s not that I don’t ever want his input, it’s just that there are certain things that I have to work out for myself, and he knows that, too. I know it’s hard for him to hold back, and he doesn’t always succeed, but he tries. I know. I can see the vein bulging in his forehead as he tries desperately to keep his mouth shut. (Thanks, babe, for the effort!)
So, now I’m back on the weight thing. Always a struggle for me, always will be. And I know that Bald Man is always trying to figure out his role in the journey. He knows it’s not to be my judge. He does his best to be my cheerleader. I wish I knew what he needed to be for me here, but I haven’t figured out his perfect role, either.
What I do need from him is to eat that yummy specialty cheese and french bread in the kitchen. And anything else yummy and fattening that’s in there. I think that’s a need he can handle.
How do you participate in your spouses’ ongoing struggles? Do you keep your mouth shut? Do you encourage? Do you offer advice?
My husband and I have found this to be a really tricky area as well. I’m constantly having to remind him that I didn’t marry him as a personal trainer. He even sometimes gets in trouble for cheering me on. It’s a tricky balance, for sure.
It most definitely is a tricky situation. I usually take on the role as Encourager.
Sure I notice when she’s gaining more weight, but she does too, so there’s no reason for me to say anything. But when she starts working to get the weight off, I just encourage her in her journey. I’ll say things like “You’re looking really good!”
And she doesn’t complicate the matter by saying, “What?! Did you think I was fat before?!”
And that’s a big encouragement for me to keep encouraging.
The Wife: True. Even the cheering can be grating on the nerves sometimes.
a husband: You are a wise man.