I Never Meant To Raise an Ocean Swimmer
August 24, 2007 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
So it turns out I was right: Earlier this summer, I predicted that Charlie would swim the farthest out into the ocean, beyond and over Jim’s head and swimming where Jim is comfortable, with me posted by the lifeguard stand—-and this is precisely what has happened. The ocean is no swimming pool, but a living creature, changeable, wild, and mightier than us all. And I rather suspect that, while Charlie loves best to swim in rough and foaming waves that swirl him around and buzz over his head, he has little sense of the danger involved. Charlie loves to be amid the ocean’s power, but he does not realize what that power can do—earlier this summer, a boy about Charlie’s age drowned in a rip current at another beach in New Jersey.
That boy was swimming at 7pm, after the lifeguards had left. After four straight days of rain, the lifeguards were back and Charlie—who had gotten in his swims during and in despite of the rainy days—gloried in the curling waves. The orange flags that mark where one can swim were set quite close together and Jim had to pull on Charlie’s arm more times than he cared so that Charlie would go “flag to flag”—the current was so strong, it only took a few minutes for Charlie to be swept southward, and once he and Jim got caught in a wave that troughed the sand far deeper than where Jim could stand and they spun around in the water, towards the jetty.
The only other swimmers out that far were teenage and college-age young men and one older man: These were not waves for ye average 10-year-old boy; these were waves that reminded me of why the ancient Greek god of the sea, Poseidon, was also the god of horses and of earthquakes. The thunderous power of one of those waves pulling on us was like being run over by horses’ hooves, and being bandied about in the tremors of an earthquakes whose Richter scale measurement was not small. Charlie appears to be embarking on his future career as some sort of ocean and beach denizen—we walked by some fishing boats in the afternoon, and Jim and I agreed that it was too easy to imagine Charlie in another age as a stalwart sailor, unmindful of storms and gales and loving the intense smell of the salt spray and the sand on his skin and every wave that comes, ever new, and terrifyingly beautiful: Three of those young men on the beach had to be rescued by lifeguards when the waves took them out too fast.
And so, for an hour this morning and two this afternoon, Jim swam and ran with Charlie in and out of the wave, and I did my smaller part at gesturing wildly “north! north! swim by the lifeguard!” to get Charlie out of the water away from the jetty and back between the flags. At one point the three of us were racing up the beach, Charlie holding our hands and running between us, eyes haunted until we let go and he ran back to his ocean.
I never meant to raise Charlie to be an ocean swimmer, a boy who might better have been a dolphin or (who knows?) a whale, whose grace is visible to any eye when he is out and in and under the waves, and who has to be all but dragged in to warm himself and take a rest. (”Relax, let’s practice relaxing,” I said and Charlie grudgingly sat in the sand, burying his hands and feet.) I knelt to turn the pockets of his swimsuit inside-out: They contained clods of sand, dripping with ocean water. I am a sorry swimmer, too ready to complain that there is salt water in my contact lenses and that I can’t feel the ground beneath my fear. I am not even like the 10-year-old girls who stood at the water’s edge with their boards attached to their wrists and stared and stared and stared at Charlie’s exploits, at his literally headlong rushes into waves twice his height. I don’t know where Charlie will go with this ocean swimming skill—ability—love. I know that if you want to know Charlie, you have to see him swim or—even better–swim with him.
Surfing lesson scheduled for 9.45am on Saturday, our last day down here at the beach, in Charlie’s true home.
…Surfing lesson scheduled for 9.45am on Saturday…
Woo hoo! He’s going to love that.
Of course that will make it that much harder to get him off of the beach.
Joe
Conor too loves swimming although it is usually pool swimming. In the water he is truly one with his environment.
So wonderful that Charlie has such a passion for the water. It can be so therapeutic, fun, and relaxing all at the same time. Nothing beats seeing a child doing something he truly loves.
Hi Kristina,
So here’s my swimming story. When our children were born, being multiples, we always worried about water. We never considered buying a house with a pool, even if it was financially possible.
One day, while visiting a pool, our little guy with autism, walked toward the pool, as if it was pavement, never even skipping a beat. We stopped him right before he was about to walk right in to the deep end. He showed absolutely no fear.
That was my message. Teach him how to swim, otherwise we’d be in trouble. Well, it took months, but he finally found respect for the water, and his shrill screams of fear could be heard for miles.
Years later, he was “mainstreamed” in the local high school. He was in sped classes, but wanted to be on the swim team. The administrators balked: “You cannot IEP a sport” they said. Finally, the swim coach quietly stated, “If he wants to swim, let him swim, he’s on the team”. What’s interesting is that our son was allowed to swim at every meet. He did his OWN PERSONAL BEST, even the opposing teams rooted him to finish his races.
That’s where swimming might take Charlie!
It’s a good thing.
xR
We were recently visiting my inlaws and decided to bring the boys to the beach (one of the great lakes). Patrick started walking towards the water fully clothed…we hadn’t been planning on taking a swim. I started after him and my father-in-law said “leave him alone, we can see him, he’ll stop at the water”. I gave a half snort and followed anyway. My father in law followed me. Much to his surprise (and chagrin) Patrick marched right past the ‘imaginary line’ at the water’s edge and had I not been right there would have probably proceeded to swim out.
I have many water stories, but that’s one of my favorites. The ending is I gave him a big grin and let him sit, fully clothed, in the shallow part of the water. Perhaps I’ll post a pic on my blog.
One of my closest friends is a cross channel swimmer [also came and did the Alcatraz bid] So maybe, in a few years, you come across here anyway right!
Cheers
There are many careers in ocean recreation that Charlie may be suited for when he is an adult.
Tourists to places that swim, scuba, kayak ect hire experts to teach their guests.
If Charlie can take to surfing he can probably learn scuba and boat handling.
I was a dockmaster for a few years. We fueled military and civilian vessels. I am certain no one who knew me as a child would have seen that in my future.
~Sarah
I absolutely love hearing about Charlie having a good time, thank you for sharing.
“Nothing beats seeing a child doing something he truly loves.”
I totally agree. I’m smiling for Charlie and everyone who had the pleasure of watching him ‘love’.
Sarah, thanks for the list of careers—-I think there are a lot of possibilities. In San Francisco, there’s a “swim the bay” event—-my cousin’s daughter has done it, I think Charlie could be a candidate……
resilient mom, wow, that’s so great! we have talked to the Child Study Team about the swim team in Charlie’s future. Did you ever do Special Olympics?
Kristina,
We did not do Special Olympics, probably because our son wanted so deperately to be with typical kids. We actually fed in to his motivation, consequently he remained with our public school team. We certainly gave kudos to the coach, who truly included him for ALL games, not just the final game of his senior year. He was not a “mascot”, he was a team member.
He always came in last, but did not care, because he was with his classmates.
xR
I am perpetually in awe of Charlie’s fearelss confidence in the water! Nik’s OT constantly tells me “Their bodies tell them what they need.” Clearly, Charlie’s needs to be in the water! I can just see the scene you described in my mind’s eye…what a lovely sight to behold!
I was able to use my camcorder today, now I just need to get a cable to import the video to my computer……
Robin, more great inspiration! Other kids were really noticing Charlie swimming and one boy kind of did “parallel boogie boarding with him.” And we kept encouraging Charlie to “swim with other people,” especially when the current carried him past the flag.