Comments on: Idiots Guide to Special Needs – An Open Discussion and Virtual Learning Session http://www.blisstree.com/articles/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session-35/ Family, Health, Home and Lifestyles Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:35:27 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Stacy Williams http://www.blisstree.com/articles/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session-35/comment-page-1/#comment-33036 Stacy Williams Wed, 15 Oct 2008 01:17:13 +0000 http://www.supernannyrules.com/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session/#comment-33036 This has been interesting to read. As a mother of an autistic boy that has instant melt downs life is difficult. my sons behavior is not always perdictable, and like others said I still have to live. He can go a month or two with nothing and then start biting me in the arm at the store. I do not have a good answer to your question, just to say if you think people would willing choice this life as an excuse for their child behavior that is way wrong. Having a child with a disablity is humiating in our society. I get treated like you said in your other posts like dirt all the time. It is hard enough to live day to day, let all dealing with people whom feel like they do not want bothered by disablilites. This has been interesting to read. As a mother of an autistic boy that has instant melt downs life is difficult. my sons behavior is not always perdictable, and like others said I still have to live. He can go a month or two with nothing and then start biting me in the arm at the store. I do not have a good answer to your question, just to say if you think people would willing choice this life as an excuse for their child behavior that is way wrong. Having a child with a disablity is humiating in our society. I get treated like you said in your other posts like dirt all the time. It is hard enough to live day to day, let all dealing with people whom feel like they do not want bothered by disablilites.

]]> By: jessica @pianomomsicle http://www.blisstree.com/articles/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session-35/comment-page-1/#comment-31386 jessica @pianomomsicle Sat, 05 Jul 2008 18:18:34 +0000 http://www.supernannyrules.com/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session/#comment-31386 i saw a blog post today and thought it would help with the conversation. i don't have a special needs child but i'm trying to learn as much as i can! http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/shannon/2008/07/what-id-like--1.html i saw a blog post today and thought it would help with the conversation. i don’t have a special needs child but i’m trying to learn as much as i can!

http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/shannon/2008/07/what-id-like–1.html

]]> By: that girl http://www.blisstree.com/articles/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session-35/comment-page-1/#comment-31686 that girl Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:19:12 +0000 http://www.supernannyrules.com/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session/#comment-31686 The main question seems to be, when is it okay to judge a kid? Autism or not it's not okay to judge a kid or a parent. We shouldn't be so quick to assume that a parent isn't parenting or that a parent is milking the system or that a kid is bratty, because we never really know what's going on w/ other people. Would a little tolerance and selflessness, kindness and compassion kill us now and then? The main question seems to be, when is it okay to judge a kid? Autism or not it’s not okay to judge a kid or a parent.

We shouldn’t be so quick to assume that a parent isn’t parenting or that a parent is milking the system or that a kid is bratty, because we never really know what’s going on w/ other people. Would a little tolerance and selflessness, kindness and compassion kill us now and then?

]]> By: Thrifty Karen http://www.blisstree.com/articles/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session-35/comment-page-1/#comment-31588 Thrifty Karen Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:44:31 +0000 http://www.supernannyrules.com/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session/#comment-31588 Mike: I don't think you should go around telling everyone that your child has autism. I think there are some situations where it would be helpful to let someone know. From what I've read on your blog though, you know your kid pretty well and that accounts for a lot. You know what's best for your child. Michelle: "Some kids are bratty. I have one. Some kids are autistic. I have one of those too." Your comment made me laugh because I have one kid that is usually well behaved. Then I have another who has sensory issues, is bratty, defiant, argumentative, too smart for her own good, and sassy, all balled up into one. Sometimes I think she's 3 kids in one. lol Mike: I don’t think you should go around telling everyone that your child has autism. I think there are some situations where it would be helpful to let someone know. From what I’ve read on your blog though, you know your kid pretty well and that accounts for a lot. You know what’s best for your child.

Michelle:
“Some kids are bratty. I have one. Some kids are autistic. I have one of those too.”

Your comment made me laugh because I have one kid that is usually well behaved. Then I have another who has sensory issues, is bratty, defiant, argumentative, too smart for her own good, and sassy, all balled up into one. Sometimes I think she’s 3 kids in one. lol

]]> By: Mike http://www.blisstree.com/articles/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session-35/comment-page-1/#comment-31585 Mike Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:28:24 +0000 http://www.supernannyrules.com/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session/#comment-31585 Just a quick comment for Thrift Karen. I have no intention of running around and telling everybody before hand that Pookie has autism. Most of the time it is not something they need to know. Most of the time we can deal with problems that come up without anybody elses help. Like I said in the original post, I don't know enough to know if I agree with the mom and/or the airlines and don't really care since it seems like a isolated bad situation that escalated way beyond what it should have because of issues on both sides that had nothing to do about whether the boy had autism or not. As for when to treat kids with autism normal or not, I'm not even sure what that means. They should always be treated like normal. If they look confused they should be helped more...just like, but maybe more often, than kids without autism. Parents of children with autism should not be assumed to be "gaming the system" because I have received a number of emails from parents asking me how to let their spouse to agree to get their kid officially diagnosed. There are not many people out there hoping the doctor tells them their kid has autism. Just a quick comment for Thrift Karen. I have no intention of running around and telling everybody before hand that Pookie has autism. Most of the time it is not something they need to know. Most of the time we can deal with problems that come up without anybody elses help.

Like I said in the original post, I don’t know enough to know if I agree with the mom and/or the airlines and don’t really care since it seems like a isolated bad situation that escalated way beyond what it should have because of issues on both sides that had nothing to do about whether the boy had autism or not.

As for when to treat kids with autism normal or not, I’m not even sure what that means. They should always be treated like normal. If they look confused they should be helped more…just like, but maybe more often, than kids without autism. Parents of children with autism should not be assumed to be “gaming the system” because I have received a number of emails from parents asking me how to let their spouse to agree to get their kid officially diagnosed. There are not many people out there hoping the doctor tells them their kid has autism.

]]> By: Michelle http://www.blisstree.com/articles/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session-35/comment-page-1/#comment-31444 Michelle Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:53:41 +0000 http://www.supernannyrules.com/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session/#comment-31444 I've been reading this ongoing saga & have to say the whole thing fascinates me, kind of like a bad accident scene. I just can't look away. I suspect that what you want to know is WHEN you can judge another person/parent's behaviour as being irritating and WHEN you can judge that behaviour as being part of a defined "special need". The short answer is, you can't. Some kids are bratty. I have one. Some kids are autistic. I have one of those too. Can I always tell the difference between? Nope. As their parents, we have to cope with the behaviour & hope that onlookers can be compassionate because they are 5 & 3. As another thought, the thing that makes me the most crazy is when I can FEEL other people judging me, my parenting skills & my child. It is one thing to notice bad behaviour & be glad it isn't you dealing with it. It is quite another to stare, comment or otherwise let me know that you don't approve. In other words, if it isn't your business, why are you letting it bother you? Sorry that seems a bit like a vent instead of a comment, but the whole issue has me wondering too. I’ve been reading this ongoing saga & have to say the whole thing fascinates me, kind of like a bad accident scene. I just can’t look away.

I suspect that what you want to know is WHEN you can judge another person/parent’s behaviour as being irritating and WHEN you can judge that behaviour as being part of a defined “special need”.

The short answer is, you can’t. Some kids are bratty. I have one. Some kids are autistic. I have one of those too. Can I always tell the difference between? Nope. As their parents, we have to cope with the behaviour & hope that onlookers can be compassionate because they are 5 & 3.

As another thought, the thing that makes me the most crazy is when I can FEEL other people judging me, my parenting skills & my child. It is one thing to notice bad behaviour & be glad it isn’t you dealing with it. It is quite another to stare, comment or otherwise let me know that you don’t approve. In other words, if it isn’t your business, why are you letting it bother you?

Sorry that seems a bit like a vent instead of a comment, but the whole issue has me wondering too.

]]> By: Thrifty Karen http://www.blisstree.com/articles/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session-35/comment-page-1/#comment-31564 Thrifty Karen Wed, 02 Jul 2008 03:50:43 +0000 http://www.supernannyrules.com/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session/#comment-31564 In some situations we (the public) can tell when a child or person has special needs. Then, there are other times when we can't, and that's ok. If you're a parent with a child with special needs, it's a REALLY good idea to let the airline know ahead of time. You could even do this when you board the plane. My goodness, you need to let them know. Am I supposed to believe that an airline attendant was picking on this kid? It just sounds fishy. I'm not disagreeing that the child has autism, but had the airline been notified ahead of time, this probably would not have happened. In some situations we (the public) can tell when a child or person has special needs. Then, there are other times when we can’t, and that’s ok. If you’re a parent with a child with special needs, it’s a REALLY good idea to let the airline know ahead of time. You could even do this when you board the plane. My goodness, you need to let them know. Am I supposed to believe that an airline attendant was picking on this kid? It just sounds fishy. I’m not disagreeing that the child has autism, but had the airline been notified ahead of time, this probably would not have happened.

]]> By: that girl http://www.blisstree.com/articles/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session-35/comment-page-1/#comment-31559 that girl Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:26:16 +0000 http://www.supernannyrules.com/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session/#comment-31559 ditto ditto

]]> By: Gayla McCord http://www.blisstree.com/articles/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session-35/comment-page-1/#comment-31555 Gayla McCord Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:19:26 +0000 http://www.supernannyrules.com/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session/#comment-31555 Once the plane is in the air is a totally different story. Let the little one's run up and down the isle - jump over the seats, scream to the high heaven's, hide in the overheads - I don't care! But on take off and landing they need to sit the F**k down or be tied down. In the air, I can read, wear headphones, etc. It's not the problem. I have twins and have worked from home for 10 years. I know how to ignore when needed. I've tried to translate my thoughts to you as best I can, now I think I'll be ignoring you just to save myself a nerve or two. Once the plane is in the air is a totally different story. Let the little one’s run up and down the isle – jump over the seats, scream to the high heaven’s, hide in the overheads – I don’t care! But on take off and landing they need to sit the F**k down or be tied down.

In the air, I can read, wear headphones, etc. It’s not the problem. I have twins and have worked from home for 10 years. I know how to ignore when needed.

I’ve tried to translate my thoughts to you as best I can, now I think I’ll be ignoring you just to save myself a nerve or two.

]]> By: that girl http://www.blisstree.com/articles/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session-35/comment-page-1/#comment-31551 that girl Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:02:22 +0000 http://www.supernannyrules.com/idiots-guide-to-special-needs-an-open-discussion-and-virtual-learning-session/#comment-31551 "@ That Girl - YOU are missing the whole point here! This child was not JUST sitting in the terminal getting on someones nerve. The plane WAS **ON** the runway - cleared for takeoff - the kid was **ON** the floor in a fit!" I think YOU are missing the point. Yes, it was annoying I"m sure - but was it a THREAT worthy of being kicked off the plane? NO! "Did you take the time to research?" Yes, I did. Just because I STILL don't agree with your points doesn't mean I'm an unresearched idiot. Maybe, just maybe, (hold the phones!) you were wrong here. "What about that should have been overlooked and left alone during takeoff?" Gayla what about that threatened the safety of the passengers or flight? "Have you ever flown at all?" Yes, matter of fact I've flown within the United States and I've been on several international flights that lasted longer than 10 hours..and there were kids on some of those flights..even BABIES! And occasionally those kids and babies weren't happy and the mama would scramble to fix the problem and you know what? We all lived! We all flipped our magazines, tuned it out and had another drink or continued on with our business. Also, the crying didn't seem to effect the flight's mechanical equipement either..didn't make the pilot go nuts, didn't make the other passengers lose their minds - and to my knowledge, noone suffered post traumatic syndrome from being exposed to the loud antics of children even for a good 11 hours. “@ That Girl – YOU are missing the whole point here! This child was not JUST sitting in the terminal getting on someones nerve. The plane WAS **ON** the runway – cleared for takeoff – the kid was **ON** the floor in a fit!”

I think YOU are missing the point. Yes, it was annoying I”m sure – but was it a THREAT worthy of being kicked off the plane? NO!

“Did you take the time to research?”

Yes, I did. Just because I STILL don’t agree with your points doesn’t mean I’m an unresearched idiot. Maybe, just maybe, (hold the phones!) you were wrong here.

“What about that should have been overlooked and left alone during takeoff?”

Gayla what about that threatened the safety of the passengers or flight?

“Have you ever flown at all?”

Yes, matter of fact I’ve flown within the United States and I’ve been on several international flights that lasted longer than 10 hours..and there were kids on some of those flights..even BABIES! And occasionally those kids and babies weren’t happy and the mama would scramble to fix the problem and you know what? We all lived! We all flipped our magazines, tuned it out and had another drink or continued on with our business.

Also, the crying didn’t seem to effect the flight’s mechanical equipement either..didn’t make the pilot go nuts, didn’t make the other passengers lose their minds – and to my knowledge, noone suffered post traumatic syndrome from being exposed to the loud antics of children even for a good 11 hours.

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