I’m Having Trouble Making New Girl Friends

There is so much focus in our culture on boyfriend-girlfriend relationships that sometimes the importance of maintaining same sex friendships is overlooked.  It is so important to have some good girlfriends in your life, whether it’s for superficial outings like shopping and mani-pedis or for deep connections like heart-to-hearts and requests for womanly advice.

Once you get in the real world it is definitely much harder to meet girlfriends.  In college you have roommates and classes, but in the working world it’s much more awkward to make a connection with a new female.  I’ve heard from a lot of friends who move to a new city that the most difficult challenge is making girlfriends.  You can’t just go to a bar and pick one up….or can you?

Here are some tips for making girlfriends in a new place:

• Be friendly with people who have similar interests. Talk to the owner of your favorite boutique, the hostess at your favorite restaurant, or the woman who walks her dog at the same time as you every night.  Start a conversation and maybe you will start talking more often…

• Put aside judgments and pickiness.  You are not going to find someone exactly like your lifelong best friend right away…or maybe ever!  You might not think that the new girl you’ve been hanging out with has any potential for long-term friendship, but be open-minded and figure out how to enjoy each other’s company even if she’s not like your other friends.  Give her a chance!

• Ask for contact information of friends of friends.  Tell your friends where you’ve moved and maybe they will know someone who already lives in the area.  Ask them for their email or facebook information and contact them to get together for coffee.  The easiest way to make lots of friends is to get hooked into someone’s network!  It might seem awkward, but it’s a great way to meet someone.

• Take the lead on planning social events.  Maybe you don’t know anyone at your new office, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t send out an email to plan an after-work happy hour.  It’s a great way to introduce yourself and let everyone know that you’re interested in being social.

• Ask someone on a friend date!  There might be someone who you’ve met that you can see potential for real friendship, but you just haven’t crossed the boundaries into hanging out and calling/texting each other.  Just like dating, feel confident and make the first move!  Ask her if she wants to go shopping or invite her to an event that you’ve been wanting to go to.  You can even mention the awkwardness of asking someone on a “friend date” so she will understand where you are coming from.

Image: sxc.hu