“In God’s Good Time”

Bill Wilson had his moments. I’ve had some myself. And it may be that there is some “secret” to getting through those moments.

Understanding my imperfections, or simply the fact I am imperfect, is a strong beginning. There is only one reason that is possible today – I’ve worked the Twelve Steps into my life.

This is actually about one of “those moments” of Bill’s and how he was introduced to another of God’s “instruments” as I’ve come to believe Fr. Tom McC was to me.

From an article at Barefoot’s World written by Robert Fitzgerald we find Bill in a depression, which happened with some regularity. (For which my sponsor pointed out that, if Bill W. was a depressive and could stay sober, the depressive I am could also.)

Obviously things weren’t going Bill’s way (yeah, thanks Big Book Bob – grin) because money wasn’t enough, in Bill’s mind, to accomplish all he wanted to for AA.

On this particular night, at 10 pm. the doorbell rings (no coincidences eh?) and it seems “some bum” wants to talk to Bill. Bill isn’t thrilled but moves ahead…

The person at the door was Fr. Ed Dowling who “wanted to talk about the paradox of AA, the ‘regeneration,’ he called it, the strength arising out of defeat and weakness, the loss of one’s old life as a condition for achieving a new one.”

Bill managed to turn the conversation in a self-centered direction when he “told Father Ed about his anger, his impatience, his mounting dissatisfactions.” To which Fr. Dowling replied “Blessed are they, who hunger and thirst.”

And I’m absolutely certain, in my mind, that that reply pi**ed Bill off, yet gave him a respect only those who’ve been a recipient of, can understand. My feeling about this seems confirmed, to me, because, as the story unfolds Bill asks “whether there was ever to be any satisfaction?” And Fr. Dowling replies – “Never. Never any!”

Then, Fr. Dowling does what any good newcomer ought to do eventually – “rents it and gives it back” – by reminding Bill that “he had made a decision to turn his life and his will over to God … he was not to sit in judgment on how he or the world was proceeding. He had only to keep the channels open … it was not up to him to decide how fast or how slowly AA developed … For whether the two of them liked it or not, the world was undoubtedly proceeding as it should, in God’s good time.”

Fr. Tom had told me, in a moment of my own self-centeredness 2 1/2 years ago;

Mark:

“If there is one thing that is so important in this life it is simply that God so Loved the World He created you. Continue to walk in His mercy and love. You are a blessing to the world.”