In Spite of A Mountain of Evidence

In Spite of A Mountain of Evidence!

I’ll continue to attempt to impose my will on a situation instead of letting HP take care of it His way and in His time. Oh, you mean it’s still not Perfects Anonymous? Nope… Question is – do I continue to rationalize that it’s progress, not perfection. Yes, there is a way to use that principle with a negative agenda/motive.

Cunning, Baffling, Powerful.

So, what do I do? Actually, at this moment I’m going to do my best to remember;

“He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking. He is a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills, and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees. He is the fellow who goes to bed so intoxicated he ought to sleep the clock around. Yet early next morning he searches madly for the bottle he misplaced the night before. If he can afford it, he may have liquor concealed all over his house to be certain no one gets his entire supply away from him to throw down the wastepipe. As matters grow worse, he begins to use a combination of high-powered sedative and liquor to quiet his nerves so he can simply go to work. Then comes the day when he simply cannot make it and gets drunk all over again. Perhaps he goes to a doctor who gives him morphine or some sedative with which to taper off. Then he begins to appear at hospitals and sanitariums.”

You see, they’re talking about me… and I’m still willing to do whatever it takes to not pick up that next drink! Thank God and AA. (The Big Book pgs. 21-22)