Indulging Your Husband’s Wants
April 30, 2009 by Christine Gooding
Filed under Home & Living
Our family motto at home is “If Mom is happy, everyone’s happy” 
This motto is lovingly indulged by my Husband and daughter. Because I am an indulged mom and wife, I can afford to be magnanimous! Ha!
One way to ensure that Hubby is happy is when he gets to ride on his motorbike. He is happiest when he can go on his road trips. Due to family and work commitments, he can’t go on these motorbike road trips as much as he could. On my part, I encourage him to go on these road trips once in a while just to get the longing out of his system.
I find that when he comes back from these road trips, he is much happier, much sweeter to me and definitely more contented.
So even though it scares me to death each time he rides his Yamaha MT-01, I try to squeeze that fear and anxiety out of my heart. My Husband is doing what he loves to do and for me, that’s important. He is not just existing. He is living.
What about you? What are your Husband’s hobbies that you let him indulge in? Does your Husband’s ‘hobbies’ interfere too much with your home life?
My hubby has a motorcycle too…and I also am happy to indulge his weekly rides and occassional out of town trips. For me, I would never tell him not to do what he loves. I even bought him his last bike for Christmas (major wife points).
And, despite the inheirent dangers of the sport, my husband really is safe. He is very aware that he is needed in this family and he’s not allowed to hurt himself.
Aside from the grammar-seeking-a-proofreader, what is with the condescending tone toward husbands? Stating that one permits another person to indulge themselves in an activity implies a level of control over and supervision of that person that is altogether unsavory in a marriage between equals. Positioning one’s husband as less than a full adult partner is belittling at best, and disrespectful of both people in the relationship… assuming the writer of this article didn’t marry a 12-year old boy.
Also, how can a person’s hobbies take away from home life – aren’t those hobbies, by definition, part of home life? When we get paid enough to do what we love that we can quit our day jobs and pursue our hobbies full time, our hobbies becomes our jobs – until then, by definition hobbies are pursued outside of work, i.e. at home, but are no less valid ways to spend time than a salaried occupation. A well-rounded human being has a variety of interests; a husband and wife do not need to share the same hobbies or interests in order to have a strong relationship. I really don’t understand the perspective given above at all – to me, marriage is a dance, not a march in lockstep. My husband and I would never dream of allowing or forbidding each other an activity – we’re both adults, and neither of us slave-owners of the other.
Wow, I read Christine’s post completely differently. I guess I don’t really get why someone would read such negative things into what was really pretty light-hearted and supportive. Isn’t it just as bad to be so strict about what makes a good marriage? Is someone who *does* have things they don’t allow (for whatever reason) a slave-owner? Seems kind of harsh. Everyone’s marriage is different.
@heather — totally agree with you…the only thing my Husband’s not allowed is to ‘hurt’ himself! LOL I do worry a lot as he has been in a couple of serious motorcycle accidents but what can I do….he loves his motorbikes and his road trips, who am I stop that?
@inkgrrl — not sure why you think this post is condescending? To whom? To my Hubby?
Also not sure why you’d conclude that I treat my Husband like a slave? He read your comment and said that he’s actually 13, not 12! Ooopps, I hope you’re not offended by this joke?
Deeply apologise (that’s not a typo, my dear…that’s who we spell it here in New Zealand!) for my grammatical error-infested post. I hope it didn’t ruin your day
Ok, I better go and whip my Hubby to shape!
Whip him into shape. He might be into that sort of thing. lol
I’m at a loss for words after reading inkgrrl’s comments.
Anyhooo, my husband likes to play guitar and record songs so he’s got quite a lot of guitars and music equipments. It’s funny when he is recording in his “room” but I’m used to it and he enjoys doing it.
Compromise and consideration are as important to a marriage as it is to friendship. And that means indulging joyful indulging one another.
Wow, if inkgrrl thinks Christine is controlling her husband, I’d hate to think what she thinks of my marriage. My husband and I are together 24/7. I thought Christine’s post was pretty clear that she enjoys when her husband does things that he loves — whatever they might be.
Personally, my husband and I don’t do anything apart. We have many of the same interests. We both work from home and enjoy similar hobbies. So it’s a very rare occasion when we are ever separated. We don’t do the whole Guys Night Out/Ladies Night/Separate Vacations thing. We are best friends. So if we are going to go out and do something with our friends that would mean we are still together.
I don’t think Christine is controlling. I never got that at all from this post. She is sharing that when you give your spouse some space, it helps your marriage. The other person appreciates you for letting them indulge in something, even if you don’t like the activity.