Infatuation May Grow into Love

If you determine that you’re infatuated, not in love, you don’t have to rush to end the relationship. Infatuation can and sometimes does develop into real love. Assume a wait-and-see attitude. If it doesn’t last, fine. You have made no rash commitments, and you haven’t dashed into sex, so you need have no regrets. If and when the break does come, you can much more easily accept it. Breaking It Up After you’ve given a relationship a fair trial and you’re convinced that it’s an infatuation with no future, you may want to call it quits. If you decide to do that, of course, try not to hurt your partner any more than you have to. Remove the arrow with great care. Be as nice about it as you can.

At the same time, you do the person no favor by putting off the breakup. That is cruel. As soon as you are sure of your decision, tell him or her right away. It may not come as much of a surprise. You have probably dropped some strong hints along the way that you had your doubts about the relationship.

In any case, be perfectly honest – and gently firm. If you see no future at all in the situation, make that quite clear. If there is no hope, offer the person none. And explain in full your reasons for the break. Remain friends if you care to. But be firm in you decision before you act, then stick by it if you feel you are right. Remember, if it’s infatuation for both of you, you will both tend to get over it fairly fast.

If the person threatens you in anger, stall until you can get protective support from parents or friends. If he or she tries to hold on to you by threatening self-harm or even suicide, that is a bluff – unless the person is mentally sick. Even so, you cannot be held responsible for the immature reactions of others if you’ve done your best to be kind and considerate, yet truthful. A relationship that is continued under the pressure of threat is no relationship at all.