Instant Energy For Hard Core Gamers?
January 20, 2008 by laura
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
It seems like there is an instant energy concoction made for every niche market out there. If you are an athlete who needs an endurance boost, there is Gatorade. If you want to have fun at a party, there is RedBull – when mixed with some fruit juice and a whole lot of vodka, will keep you going all night long (thank you Lionel Richie). If you are a geek, you drink BAWLS, alternating with many cups of coffee – so you can stay up all night and meet your ever pressing deadlines.
Now there is a new energy PILL (you know, for when you are tired of drinking sickingly sweet energy drinks) on the market, for Hard Core Gamers! It’s called FPSBrain. It is marketed specifically towards gamers, claiming that it was developed to cater to the growing demand for performance improvement in electronic sports.
The people at FPSBrain have come up with 8 reasons on why you need their product. Here is what they say:
- FpsBrain is the only effective product with a 110% money-back guarantee. Clinical research and expert knowledge made it possible to develop an effective neural accelerator.
- FpsBrain is active within the first 60 minutes after use and releases its active ingredients constantly for 6 hours maximum into the body.
- Fps has been tested by experience computer players and results in a remarkable increase in perception and reaction capacities.
- FpsBrain contains only ingredients that have been tested and are approved in Germany.
- Unlike ordinary energizer FpsBrain has a sugar-free formulation.
- All our staff use FpsBrain at least four times a week to enhance their mental performance and their work efficieny.
- The production process of FpsBrain is permanently being controlled and climate-adjusted, certified according to ISO 9001. Our production and bottling facilities meet the standard of the latest developments in processing equipment available on the market. Computerized inspections ensure the high quality standards that we hold our products up to.
- If our customers are not satisfied with FpsBrain, they will receive 100% of the retail price including a small 10%-gift with the first 60 days. This applies even if the entire content of the box has been consumed.
Did I mention that you can get an enhanced capacity of reaction, and there will be no shaky hands or caffeine flash.
You know, there is an obvious market that these energy companies are missing. The Chronically Fatigued market. I know that we can drink energy drinks, or Mountain Dew – which is the soda that has the most caffeine in it, unless you live in Canada – where they remove the caffeine. But we all know that these drinks work as a sugar high. You get an energy surge for about 40 minutes, and then crash really hard. How about developing something that can get us through a day – or at least a 4 hr period. Stop wasting your time, with people who don’t really need an energy boost (gamers), and start focusing on people who do (PWC’s).
Of course, you can always try something a little more scientific – or something that has nothing to do with ingesting a pill or drink at all.
**Picture Source – flickr
Except that in South-East Asia, there are guys making more than a living off of these games – competitions are televised, etc. How long before they’ve got drug testing for the big games? I think virtual sports have just hit the big time, now that there’s a drug market involved!
Not sure I’d want to work for the company though – sounds like they want 150% from their employees, and are giving them free drugs to do it.
(meanwhile |la la la la la la| I can’t hear the siren call of a working brain… |la la la la la|)
My spouse is a gamer…but a board gamer. G@mes Work*shop. Hardcore. Yikes.
Jenna,
I so do not understand this development. I know that gaming is popular….but does this not seem utterly ridiculous to you?
Employees take that pill 4 times a week….that is insane!!! What kind of hours are these people working?
Jensina,
what kind of board gamer…
monopoly???
Cranium – this is my most favorite game ever!
Popular is one thing, but $$$ is quite another. Last October, World Cyber Games tournament had 700 players from 74 countries and half a million in cash prizes. The only tournament listed in the wikipedia entry for electronic sports had a total for prizes of 1 Million. Since a lot of these countries are places like South Korea (which by the way has at least 3 full time video game tv networks in versions of ESPN), this kind of money means that there are a class of gamers that do it as their means of making a living – with some of them very rich, with full media coverage and posters and endorsements just like sports stars in North America. I saw a CBC documentary on gaming, and there are thriving businesses in Eastern Europe of people being paid by recreational gamers here to bring their character/avatar in a game up X number of levels – so that the people here have the fun of playing with the power/speed/extras that come with the higher levels without having to spend 15 hours a day getting there…
But as to your original question – no I don’t understand it. But I also don’t understand why baseball players get paid anything, let alone their actual salaries and drug scandals. What gets valued in any society is a complete crap shoot as far as I’m concerned!!
haha. It’s called W*arhammer. It’s an army type game with miniatures that the gamer paints and you move them across a …table. The person creates scenery….dice are involved and it’s a sort of sub-culture. Wait…it IS a sub-culture. freaky
Jenna,
I am astounded at the kind of money being thrown around for this stuff. I work with a bunch of men who are so-so core gamers, and so I hear about them talk about the latest goings on all the time…but really I question their sanity. It does not interest me in the slightest.
As for pro sports teams and the money the players make….I suppose they bring some entertainment value to a persons life. I for one enjoy going to a hockey game (although I go less than once a year) and a rugby match will always give me some excitement – by the way, I think those boys should get hazard pay!
Jensina,
sounds fun…can you shoot at each other? If you have to paint the miniatures, can you decorate them so they resemble people that you hate.
If its like that, I am sooo on board!
YES you can paint them to resemble people you know and/or hate. The charchters are premade out of pewter or plastic cast, but my spouse painted one to look like me. A warrior something or other. You blow up an army with a roll of the dice…it’s hard to explain while on my nite time meds. THIS IS WHY I HATE MEDS
I think I have heard of this game before.
I am all for a game where I can make figurines to look like people I hate, and then do severe harm to them.
You had no idea I was so evil, did you?
ebay sells the figures ( http://search.ebay.com/search/search.dll?from=R40&_trksid=m37&satitle=games+workshop&category0= ). These are from games workshop and some are weird, like gobilns, etc. But if you find a human-like dude/dudette – those are easier to make look like your favorite…least favorite person. Hey, you can paint really ugly goblins; put them on a pedastal and label them. “Jeff.” or “David.” Or “Beth.” There’s also civil war miniatures…I don’t know much about them. I know more about the games workshop stuff than I realized. Here’s the civil war ebay link: http://cgi.ebay.com/MINIATURE-CAST-METAL-CIVIL-WAR-FIGURES_W0QQitemZ280193046612QQihZ018QQcategoryZ13961QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting .
Sounds like fun. I am not much of a gamer….online or offline. But I could get behind creating little goblins that resemble people that I don’t care for.
And then perhaps destroy them