Intellectually disabled outliving their parents
In a different twist on children and elderly parents, the Canadian Press reports that we are seeing the first generation of “intellectually disabled” who are outliving their parents.
Advances in medicine and technology means everyone has the chance to live longer, and, there’s speculation over what will happen to intellectually disabled adults whose parents have died, or, are no longer able to take care of them.
It certainly takes a different kind of support network to manage this scenario. It’s one thing for children to take care of parents in their golden years, but, another thing to take on the responsibility of caring for a dependent sibling.
Though all parents want to make sure their kids are cared for when they are gone, most of their kids are independent. I can’t imagine knowing that a child will be dependent upon someone for the rest of their lives.
I pay special attention to issues like this as I have a good friend with two children, one of whom is intellectually disabled, and, the other daughter may one day become responsible for her sister’s care.
Many people in this situation live in nursing homes, and, it appears that facilities and programs to manage this scenario are few and far between. However, it’s something we can no longer ignore since the needs of the elderly and the disabled are very different.
This IS a tough one. The decisions surrounding the care of a disabled sibling were probably some of the most heart-wrenching that my familiy ever had to make. We found a compromise solution that involved re-situating my oldest brother (60 by this time) into a group setting with a family who owns a farm. They became his new mom and dad, I swallowed hard and assumed my role as guardian and well-to-do (figuratively speaking) uncle. I still deal with some regrets in making that decision, but understand that there is no perfect solution…just solutions that require compromise.