Is He Cheating…With You?
July 10, 2009 by Kelli DesRochers
Filed under Relationships
To follow-up on Michelle’s infidelity theme, I wanted to discuss the unfortunate issue of getting caught on the opposite end of cheating. It is definitely more common to find cheaters lurking amongst us these days, so it is also more common that you could find yourself accidentally dating someone who is cheating on someone else.
I honestly believed that the idea that someone could be dating more than one person at the same time was something that only happened in movies or to extremely naive people. But unfortunately I am finding out that it is becoming more and more common! It’s one thing to have a mistress who is fully aware of her status, but it is quite another to convince each woman that they are in an exclusive relationship. Married men are taking their rings off when they go out to bars and guys with serious girlfriends are starting new relationships on the side.
It might sound like a lot of work for someone to maintain more than one “exclusive” relationship, but I think the frequency in occurrence relates back to ideas of polygamy and a male desire for multiple women. A male with low self-confidence gets a great boost from new interest from a woman. Although they want what is new, they are also unwilling to give up the boost coming from the serious relationship they already have. So the obvious solution is…why not continue both? I doubt that they fully think this scenario through to imagine how it will all be resolved, but I’m pretty sure the dream scenario involves something like two women fighting over one man.
It’s all quite crazy, but I just wanted to bring up the issue to draw attention to the fact that it is happening more and more. Intelligent women who have had perfectly respectable boyfriends and serious relationships have ended up falling for these lies and getting into a hurtful and sticky situation.
Don’t be overly cautious or snoopy, but do trust your intuition and use your eyes and ears to catch any oddities that could tip you off.
Image: istock
Cheating sucks – plain and simple. I was involved in a relationship where I was both cheated on and with and I was not aware of it until well after the relationship was over. I can’t see into this person’s head, but I’m fairly certain that he was trying to fill up some hole within himself. I used to feel angry about him, but I’ve found a bit of that “closure” this week (I’m contemplating writing about it) and now I feel pity. I’m happily off that particular wild ride forever. I understand the biology of it all, but we’ve evolved beyond being run just by our instincts and people do recognize the difference between right and wrong. The truly strong man kicks his instinct to the side and does the right thing.