Comments on: Is It Possible To Avoid Infidelity? http://www.blisstree.com/articles/is-it-possible-to-avoid-infidelity/ Family, Health, Home and Lifestyles Fri, 25 Dec 2009 02:53:21 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: nola http://www.blisstree.com/articles/is-it-possible-to-avoid-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-407760 nola Wed, 05 Aug 2009 15:17:34 +0000 http://www.blisstree.com/?p=98514#comment-407760 How does one keep partner from cheating? Is that really within our control? Our partners tell us what they need non-verbally more so than verbally- are we really listening? The more face-to-face time you have with your significant other, the more likely you are to know when something is not right. There's a great deal to be said for quality time together. Small things such as washing the dishes together, cleaning out the car togther, etc provide opportunities for conversation. Those conversations let us know if we are growing together or growing apart. The more time we have w/ out distractions of PDA's and TV's and internet, the more likely we are to be TRANSPARENT about our needs and concerns. How does one keep partner from cheating? Is that really within our control? Our partners tell us what they need non-verbally more so than verbally- are we really listening? The more face-to-face time you have with your significant other, the more likely you are to know when something is not right. There’s a great deal to be said for quality time together. Small things such as washing the dishes together, cleaning out the car togther, etc provide opportunities for conversation. Those conversations let us know if we are growing together or growing apart. The more time we have w/ out distractions of PDA’s and TV’s and internet, the more likely we are to be TRANSPARENT about our needs and concerns.

]]> By: Sad and broken-hearted http://www.blisstree.com/articles/is-it-possible-to-avoid-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-356356 Sad and broken-hearted Fri, 10 Jul 2009 22:10:20 +0000 http://www.blisstree.com/?p=98514#comment-356356 I agree that people have always cheated, but I do not believe that everyone cheats. I wanted clarification on what you were stating here. I would hope that "falling in love" would only be the stepping stone to what I believe is the real goal in love and that is to find someone that loves you, cherishes you, and respect you. I do not believe that someone can respect you by cheating on you or "show" you that they love you by cheating on you. Love is more than a word, it should be shown by actions that speak louder than words. Thank you for commenting on this site. It's nice to see a "professional" opinion. I agree that people have always cheated, but I do not believe that everyone cheats. I wanted clarification on what you were stating here. I would hope that “falling in love” would only be the stepping stone to what I believe is the real goal in love and that is to find someone that loves you, cherishes you, and respect you. I do not believe that someone can respect you by cheating on you or “show” you that they love you by cheating on you. Love is more than a word, it should be shown by actions that speak louder than words.

Thank you for commenting on this site. It’s nice to see a “professional” opinion.

]]> By: Michelle Smith http://www.blisstree.com/articles/is-it-possible-to-avoid-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-355794 Michelle Smith Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:27:40 +0000 http://www.blisstree.com/?p=98514#comment-355794 Yikes! A Marriage and Family Therapist is reading Relationships? Now I'm nervous. Everything I've read on the subject of infidelity follows what you are saying - it's always been around. I wonder if the internet makes the Emotional Affair easier to engage in? I heard about one man who built a media/rec room in his basement for his family, but what he really wanted was some private time with his online girlfriend. Yuck. Yikes! A Marriage and Family Therapist is reading Relationships? Now I’m nervous. Everything I’ve read on the subject of infidelity follows what you are saying – it’s always been around. I wonder if the internet makes the Emotional Affair easier to engage in? I heard about one man who built a media/rec room in his basement for his family, but what he really wanted was some private time with his online girlfriend. Yuck.

]]> By: Michelle Smith http://www.blisstree.com/articles/is-it-possible-to-avoid-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-355772 Michelle Smith Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:20:09 +0000 http://www.blisstree.com/?p=98514#comment-355772 Cheating to fill an emptiness makes a lot of sense to me as an explanation. I've seen this in my own family - a parent who cannot be loyal to any of his wives (he's been married to 3 different women, but he remarries some of them for a total of 6 marriages). He appears confident, arrogant even, but really he is a mess of insecurity. It's unfortunate - both for him and for whomever his wife is at the time. You've got to make peace with yourself and where you are in your life before you are any good to a partner. Some people never learn that and they will continue to search for ways to fill that void, sometimes in self-destructive ways. Cheating to fill an emptiness makes a lot of sense to me as an explanation. I’ve seen this in my own family – a parent who cannot be loyal to any of his wives (he’s been married to 3 different women, but he remarries some of them for a total of 6 marriages). He appears confident, arrogant even, but really he is a mess of insecurity. It’s unfortunate – both for him and for whomever his wife is at the time. You’ve got to make peace with yourself and where you are in your life before you are any good to a partner. Some people never learn that and they will continue to search for ways to fill that void, sometimes in self-destructive ways.

]]> By: Michelle Smith http://www.blisstree.com/articles/is-it-possible-to-avoid-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-355739 Michelle Smith Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:08:12 +0000 http://www.blisstree.com/?p=98514#comment-355739 It's neither true nor okay. I hope that was your one and only date with that bozo. I know a lot of men who have never and will never cheat. If women are so willing to accept his cheating (I'm assuming his idea comes from personal experience) then why was he single? He sounds like a salesman. They will make stupid generalizations that leave you off balance in an attempt to get your to buy their point of view. Don't buy it. It’s neither true nor okay. I hope that was your one and only date with that bozo. I know a lot of men who have never and will never cheat. If women are so willing to accept his cheating (I’m assuming his idea comes from personal experience) then why was he single?

He sounds like a salesman. They will make stupid generalizations that leave you off balance in an attempt to get your to buy their point of view. Don’t buy it.

]]> By: ems mom http://www.blisstree.com/articles/is-it-possible-to-avoid-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-354278 ems mom Fri, 10 Jul 2009 03:24:47 +0000 http://www.blisstree.com/?p=98514#comment-354278 All of the above... My personal input is also that loyalty is and will continue to be missing. We are loyal to so few things in life- some people are even unfaithful to their children in persuit of purely selfish and destructive- fleeting satisfaction to fill the void of spiritual emptiness. Throughout history, there have been cultural, spiritual, perhaps religious principles that- though very different in physical manifestation- have generally upheld a similiar focus of honesty, goodness to one another and contentment. Until we stop looking elsewhere for what we think we are missing, and look INSIDE for the goodness that is THERE all along, we won't be loyal to anyone- because we are still cheating ourselves. All of the above… My personal input is also that loyalty is and will continue to be missing. We are loyal to so few things in life- some people are even unfaithful to their children in persuit of purely selfish and destructive- fleeting satisfaction to fill the void of spiritual emptiness. Throughout history, there have been cultural, spiritual, perhaps religious principles that- though very different in physical manifestation- have generally upheld a similiar focus of honesty, goodness to one another and contentment. Until we stop looking elsewhere for what we think we are missing, and look INSIDE for the goodness that is THERE all along, we won’t be loyal to anyone- because we are still cheating ourselves.

]]> By: Eliza Ferree http://www.blisstree.com/articles/is-it-possible-to-avoid-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-352725 Eliza Ferree Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:51:53 +0000 http://www.blisstree.com/?p=98514#comment-352725 I agree it just makes it easier and they are more vulnerable in my opinion. Still no excuse but we all know it happens. I agree it just makes it easier and they are more vulnerable in my opinion. Still no excuse but we all know it happens.

]]> By: Dr. Bob Huizenga http://www.blisstree.com/articles/is-it-possible-to-avoid-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-352077 Dr. Bob Huizenga Thu, 09 Jul 2009 11:32:49 +0000 http://www.blisstree.com/?p=98514#comment-352077 I've been a Marriage and Family Therapist for 28 years and specializing in infidelity. People have always cheated. Today, perhaps, with Social Media opportunities and the internet, there is more of tendency to play out one's fantasies, which might stimulate overt infidelity behavior. Plus, I believe, our culture subtly "encourages" infidelity. After all, isn't the goal to "fall in love" which is glamorized in tabloids...regardless of one's marital status. I’ve been a Marriage and Family Therapist for 28 years and specializing in infidelity. People have always cheated. Today, perhaps, with Social Media opportunities and the internet, there is more of tendency to play out one’s fantasies, which might stimulate overt infidelity behavior. Plus, I believe, our culture subtly “encourages” infidelity. After all, isn’t the goal to “fall in love” which is glamorized in tabloids…regardless of one’s marital status.

]]> By: Barista http://www.blisstree.com/articles/is-it-possible-to-avoid-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-351146 Barista Thu, 09 Jul 2009 03:02:46 +0000 http://www.blisstree.com/?p=98514#comment-351146 Last summer I went on a date with a guy who told me I was fooling myself if I thought I'd ever meet a man who would be faithful because there are too many women out there willing to accept the unfaithful. I felt sad after this. I know it's true, but I refuse to believe it's ok. Last summer I went on a date with a guy who told me I was fooling myself if I thought I’d ever meet a man who would be faithful because there are too many women out there willing to accept the unfaithful. I felt sad after this. I know it’s true, but I refuse to believe it’s ok.

]]> By: Michelle Smith http://www.blisstree.com/articles/is-it-possible-to-avoid-infidelity/comment-page-1/#comment-351007 Michelle Smith Thu, 09 Jul 2009 02:00:17 +0000 http://www.blisstree.com/?p=98514#comment-351007 I wonder if the economy makes it even more likely, because of the work-place desperation. What do you think, Eliza? I wonder if the economy makes it even more likely, because of the work-place desperation. What do you think, Eliza?

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