Is it wrong to stay in a relationship just for the great sex?
January 9, 2008 by gayla
Filed under Relationships
Have you found yourself in a relationship where the two of you have very little in common but you keep going back because the sex is so incredibly intense?
In this type of relationship, the primary bond of the couple is sex and is generally just sex, devoid of love. Similar to infatuation, sexually attached couples experience high levels of passion, with low levels of intimacy and emotion.
With that in mind, I ask you “Is it wrong to stay in a relationship with someone just for great sex?”
Feel free to share your response (anonymous is fine if you prefer) in the comments section of this post.
My response after the cut…
I believe everyone finds themselves at degrees of readiness for relationships. Some not so ready, some very ready to settle down with one person and at varied degrees in between.
When a couple are both at the same place, even if it is at a place where they don’t want emotional intimacy or attachment, but want great sex, that’s all fine and good. However, it can certainly be difficult if both parties are not completely honest with one another or with themselves.
There’s nothing wrong with a couple (adult and concenting of course) enjoying each others company and with wanting to be physically stimulated. As humans, we all have certain needs that need a little attention from time to time, right? However, in a relationship that’s based entirely on sex and lacks an emotional connection of any kind can surely anticipate conflict in the future.
Now, what are your thoughts?
Tags: relationships, sex, great sex, friends with benefits, no strings, casual relationship
I happen to find myself in one of these relationships at the moment. It started out that way anyway. Neither of us was ready to go beyond that – I’ve gotten beyond it but my partner hasn’t and that’s left me feeling somewhat frustrated that things are not progressing after 18 months. Oh well, I knew what I was getting myself into right!
PS you didn’t allow for anonymous posting!
To complete an anonymous posting, all you have to do is fill in fictitious name and leave the url blank. Email addresses are NEVER published or shared.
I think its not an ideal situation, but its a reality. I do think that after 18 months though, you need to say something.
In my experience it is definitely asking for trouble to be in a relationship thats based on sex. There is no way to keep feelings and emotions out of the loop when you are involved in a physical relationship. Sooner or later someone is going to want more than just sex and because of the sex is going to feel entitled to having more on some level. I’ve never been in or have heard of a relationship that’s based on sex working out in the long term. And I doubt I ever will.
I have had a guy friend for 13 yrs and live 2 hrs away. It started seeing each other alot and now has turned out to be maybe once every 3 months. Friends with benifits. He always brings it to my attention that we are not boyfriend and girl friend. It is hard to keep that into perspective. I do talk to him on the phone 3 times a week. And we do have an agreement that if he or I meet someone we would like to date then we would be honest and tell eachother. But it can and is hard to keep sex annd friendship seperate!! As i do have diffeent feelings for him..
I’m in a relationship where all I’m staying for at this point is the sex. The guy I’m with doesn’t want anything serious, and because of that doesn’t really treat me the way he should. But I can’t seem to find it in me to let him go, mainly because of the sex. Also, I haven’t had a boyfriend in a WHILE and in the beginning I was excited that someone actually wanted to be with me long term. But now I find I don’t like him that much most of the time. Except when we have sex, it’s usually very intense. I found this article because I was looking for anyone else who’s in the same situation! Maybe I’ll find the strength to let him go soon, but it’s really hard.
Also, I don’t really want anything serious with him either, but I think he thinks the opposite is going on in my head. That may be another reason he keeps a distance emotionally. It’s all very complicated and it’s wracking my brain!