Is Lasting Love Altruistic Love?

What is the secret to true and lasting love? According to Tom Smith, PhD, of the National Opinion and Research Center at the University of Chicago, it’s a phenomena he calls “altruistic love.”

People who love altruistically put the needs of their partners above their own. Do you love this way?  Some of the questions to ask yourself include  would you be willing to put your partner first in terms of happiness or personal needs? Would you be willing to endure or sacrifice if it meant that the one you love achieves or gets what they need?

I like this idea, but I do believe that a balance is needed. I can say that as mother I put the needs of my family first, but I also try to make an effort to take care of my own needs, as well. This could be as simple as taking a relaxing bubble bath or treating myself to a smoothie. I think that a balance is necessary.

Married people were more likely to rank high in altruistic love than the unmarried. But altruistic love was a boon for everyone — no wedding band required.

“Having feelings of altruistic love toward the significant other — a spouse, co-habitating partner, a simple romantic interest, which hasn’t gone as far as either of those relationships — not only leads to greater marital happiness but general increase in general happiness in one’s life,” Smith says.

Humans are “both self-interested and self-sacrificing,” he notes. “I think sometimes we think of us as only in competition and material benefit and whatnot, and there’s clearly more to human psychology than that.”

What do you think about the idea of altruistic love?  Do you put the needs of your partner first?

Image credit: All Posters.com