Is Monogamy A Lie?

I found an interesting interview with Jenny Block, author of Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage, over at AOL Health.  Block is married, but also openly involved with a long term female lover. Block’s husband is also involved with her female lover and from what I understand, he sees additional partners outside the trio.

The open marriage concept works well for these people. Jenny Block says that being part of an open marriage gives her “a sense of peace.” She and her husband found that they had differing needs, “mismatched libidos.” She basically says that she is “a lot” to handle.

The marriage started out like any other and then a few years into it she had an affair with a female friend. It ended badly. After some time, she and her husband discussed their situation and found that an open marriage was the way to build a satisfying relationship for them.

I respect that this couple, or trio, has found a solution to their personal, emotional, and sexual needs. My problem is when she feels that the rest of the population, the monogamous segment of the population are either being dishonest about our needs or that we are brainwashed to believe a marriage should only consist of two people.

I don’t want more than one partner. I’m not brainwashed or lying to myself. I am lazy. Plan and simple. A relationship is a lot of work. I cannot imagine having enough energy for my kids, my man, and my extra.

When I was younger, before I married and had children, there was a period when I was seeing two men at once. I wasn’t committed to either. One night, I was spending time with one, when the other showed up. I sent the second one away. I was so upset at first, even though I was not seeing either one exclusively.

It was embarrassing and I wanted one  of the men to say, “Okay, you need to chose.” They were fine with it. What I realized then was that neither one of these guys was for me. I like to be exclusive. I need a man who feels the same way.

I’m not a big dater and I’m not good at casual. I’m like that Kelly Clarkson song, “I fall deep.” I’m a one-man woman.

How about you? Do you think that mongamomy is notion that we are brainwashed into believing?

Image credit: Michelle Smith