Is She… or Isn’t She?

In my last post, I talked about what it feels like (from the perspective of a survivor) to take notice of someone who appears to be anorexic or bulimic. 

However, I’d like to make it very clear to people who are unfamiliar with eating disorders that not everyone who is skinny has a problem.  In fact, I’ve known plenty of individuals who could eat and eat and eat and still have difficulty keeping weight on their frames.

Ironically, those people seem to rarely view their bodies with delight, especially during their teens and early twenties.  A great many gals I’ve talked with who have high metabolisms have openly lamented their lack of breasts and hips, wishing they could be more voluptuous. 

Anorexics and bulimics, on the other hand, are rarely heard to utter the words, “I wish I could gain more weight.”  (The exception would be those who are determined to recover… or are merely paying lip service for the benefit of therapists, parents, friends, and/or colleagues.)

The end result is that, like all people, the anorexic or bulimic is unique.  And therein lies one of the major problems with treating the disorders – what works for one person suffering from an ED will never work for another.  What motivates one bulimic patient to finally put an end her binge/purge cycle may mean nothing to the next girl determined to hold onto her ritualistic eating habits. 

If you’re wondering, “Is she… or isn’t she?” about a person in your world, don’t make assumptions based only on her figure.  A slender silhouette does not automatically indicate an eating disorder; conversely, a “normal looking” woman could be secretly throwing up at home after her family has gone to bed.

It’s the classic case of your eyes (and your expectations) deceiving you.

(Incidentally, though there are absolutely men out there with anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder, I typically feel a stronger connection with women who suffer from the condition, perhaps as a result of my gender.  My apologies to any gents with EDs out there… I will absolutely focus on your needs during the course of authoring this blog.)