Is spanking out of love really beating?
Just out of curiosity on this very subject, I have two teen boys right here that I’m going to ask what they think about spanking versus beating or are they really the same?
Trey: Spanking is something parents do as a form of punishment for doing something really bad. Spanking is a good form of punishment so long as the parent doesn’t spank out of anger. Spanking worked on me when I rode my bike on the road. I never took my bike near the road again. I think I deserved to be spanked because I see now what a risk I took.
Beating is something that people do out of anger and attempt to control another person. It’s trying to scare someone in a bad way for retarded stuff like name calling and teasing.
Denton: Spanking is a form of punishment that parents use instead of 
grounding. Spanking is ok if the kid does something real bad like trash something like property wise or do something very dangerous to himself or others.
Beating I would say is hurting somebody for stupid reasons and not really doing something wrong. Like drunks do to each other. It’s acting aggressively and a power trip, not punishment to teach a kid. Beating is also when someone spanks a child in anger and uses a weapon of sorts like a kitchen spoon, hair brush, yard stick, that sorta stuff.
The answers the kids gave were not coerced in any way and I’ll even go so far as to have them respond to questions anyone may have in the comments of this post. I think there’s a BIG difference between kids that are raised having been spanked out of love and those who were beaten in anger and there’s a very solid black line between the two – nothing gray at all.
These are two very good kids – popular in school, active in sports, get good grades, active in 4-H, keep their rooms clean and organized without being told and are really a pleasure to be around – even as their parent I like being around them! Other adults do too because I’m constantly getting compliments on the kids and their behavior from other parents, teachers and coaches.
So there you have it! Have any questions for a couple of teens who are the product of parents who spank out of love – go right ahead. They’re here to answer your questions!
I have a question for both boys actually..
Here are the questions:
When do you think a child is too old to spank?
When do you think a child is too young to spank?
The third son is actually home now so you get a bonus answer in this… Here we go…
Coty – a kid is too old to be spanked at 11 because that’s when you can start taking stuff away from it and it hurt.
A kid is too young when it can’t walk yet.
Denton – a kid is too old to be spanked at the age of 10. That’s when you can ground them to their room and it hurt more.
A kid is too young to be spanked when they can’t understand what they are being spanked for.
If the parent explains it to them and they understand, then they’re old enough.
Trey – A kid is too old to be spanked at the age of 13. Teenagers should be grounded, pulled out of sports and away from their friends when they get in trouble.
A kid is too young when they can’t walk. When they start to walk they get into more stuff and can get hurt. I remember being spanked when I was 3 and I never forgot why I was spanked and never did it again.
I got very similar answers from my kids, Gayla.
I think there’s a big difference in those who are spanked out of love and those who are spanked by parents taking the lazy approach to punishment – sounds like yours know what the love of a caring parent is too Marye!
I was going to make a smart alecky coment but hten I realized that it might not seem funny to some…But I am THINKING it…LOUD.
I believe my Father spanked out of love. When my Mother spanked she often took it WAY too far.
Ok, what do you guys think of being spanked on the butt with a belt OR a switch?
I disagree with the no gray area. Beatings usually evolve from spanking…it can get taken to far in a heartbeat that is why I will always think it best NOT to go there.
But for your boys..
Assuming that you are very intellient young men can I ask if you feel that there was absolutely NO alternative for your behavior other than physical coersion? Is it not possible that you might have learned the same lessons via a different and more repsectful approach? Or is spanking the end all be all. Also, hitting begets hitting…will you be spanking your own kids?
Your boys seem so smart and well-rounded! I have two boys and I hope they can be so articulate and thoughtful as teenagers – they are toddlers now and I don’t know what to expect of the teenage years – it’s like the great unknown looming in front of us – kind of scary. But reading your boys’ responses was great, maybe it’s something it look forward to after all.