Is Teenager a Foreign Language?
I’m starting to think I must speak some foreign language that my teens don’t understand. Or maybe it’s the other way around. I’ll say one thing and they’ll come back with some ridiculous answer that makes me want to smack my head right down on the table. Hard.
For example, last night we were talking to one of the teens about school work. Or lack thereof. It went like this.
You’re missing three homework assignments from Chapter 1.
Yeah, I didn’t feel like doing them.
Umm…what? What do you mean you didn’t feel like doing them?
I already know all that stuff so it’s pointless to waste an hour doing homework when I already know it.
No it’s not pointless. You do your homework and you get a grade. Right now your getting an F.
This is just the first chapter. It’s not like I won’t do the rest of the chapters.
Homework is your job. You don’t get to pick and choose which homework you want to do. Do you think my boss just says, “Oh, ok. No problem.” when I don’t want to do something at work?
It’s not a big deal. I’ll make it up with the next chapters.
Yes. Yes it is a big deal. You are failing.
But it’s stupid to do it when I already know it.
If you know it, then it should have been easy and would have been an easy grade.
But why would I do something I already know?
To improve. To get an A. To avoid getting grounded. Lots of reasons.
But I already know everything about it. I don’t need to get better at it.
It’s just like sports. The more you practice the better you get. Tiger Woods still practices.
Sports is different than math.
No, no it’s not.
It’s stupid to waste an hour on something I already know. I’d rather play computer or video games.
Well computer and video games are privileges and you know the consequences of not doing homework. You lose privileges.
Fine. I’d rather sit in my room in the dark all night long than do something I already know for no reason.
You’d rather sit in your room doing absolutely nothing for 60 hours than do one hour of homework?
Yes!
And I had to end the conversation there because seriously?!? Did I talk this nonsense when I was a teenager? How do you reason with crazy?
Oh this sounds so much like the conversations that have been taking place at my house.
I’m convinced – teens share the same brain! That’s why they have so little power to use it independently.
I pray I don’t have to go through this. I really, really do. Most of the time I can reason with DD, and the things that I can’t aren’t really that important.
Teenager is a foreign language, and a foreign CULTURE.
Hugs!
I think we have had this same exact conversation at least twice already this school year. Why do teachers give out homework that is just glorified busy work? My son sees so much of it as tedious.
On the other hand, too bad, so sad, they just need to get it done because I can name a 100 things in adult life that are just tedious that I would really rather not do, but have no choice but to do.
I actually think this is a good lesson for him. In your work analogy we often need to learn where best to apply our time and sometimes we should stand up to our bosses and not do the things that we think are stupid.
BUT … we also have to be willing to face the consequenecs of our actions. So, if we refuse an assignment or don’t get some part of work done on time because we priortiized something else over it, the consequence may be an “F” (bad performance review), or loss of privileges / benefits (no bonus, job termination).
So, if he feels strongly enough about it, let him not do the homework and suffer the consequences. Have a teacher/parent/student meeting to discuss his behavior; take away his computer/video/TV privileges; ground him. Just make sure he knows the “cost” of his actions. He’s old enough that he needs to learn that.
Though if it goes on too long, let me yell at him for you
Mom
Wow! Did you record a conversation that’s taken place at my house?
My wife and I have been through similar “conversations” with one of our two teen boys and I’ve often wondered the same thing, where along the way did I teach him that?
We often hear things like “I’ll show her (teacher), she’s dumb so I’m not going to do my assignment”. Nice. Sometimes these beings called teenagers living in our homes seem to be from another planet, don’t they…
Oh my goodness. I am *not* alone!