Is Your Stress Rubbing Off On Them?

Did you know that showing stress or fighting in front of your kids can actually lower their immune system capabilities and cause physiological side effects? With the economy in a sad state of affairs, gas prices soaring toward that dreaded five dollar per gallon mark and so many home owners being foreclosed on, there is a lot of potential for marital tension and individual stress. It is common knowledge that stress about finances is the number one reason for divorce. Are you letting your own financial stress or other such issues, ruin marital bliss and cause anxiety? If so, do you kids see it happening? Chances are, they do.

Kids are very perceptive creatures. They can pick up on even unspoken emotions but be ignorant of how to deal with them. The side effects of harboring the second hand stress are numerous. Your normally happy child may become depressed. They may become suddenly introverted. They may complain of stomach aches, sleeping problems or have separation anxiety. They may regress to baby stages or behaviors. A potty trained child may start wetting the bed. One of the most obvious signs is a sharp increase in cases of illness. If your usually healthy child becomes repeatedly ill, it may be a sign that your stress is rubbing off on them.

What can you do to remedy this problem? Talk to your kids. Reassure them that you have everything under control even if you don’t feel that way. Ask them about their concerns. Some of them may surprise you. My daughter once heard my husband and I bickering about an over indulgent shopping trip. He casually made a comment about having a house payment to make. My daughter overheard and interpreted his comment to mean that we were going to lose our home. We did not know why her stomach started hurting, until she finally blurted it out one day. We were so shocked, but in retrospect, could see how a child might derive such a conclusion from a passing comment.

Younger children, although not as verbally capable of expressing fears, can still communicate them through play. You can play pretend and let him be the parent, or even use puppets to act out his emotions. Kids wear their hearts on their sleeves and will usually let you know in some form, that they are stressed. If you know what to look for and how to deal with it, they should be back to their happy selves in no time!