Comments on: It’s a wheelchair, not a stupid stick

By: kailani

kailani — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 19:39:22 +0000

I think we just need to make a concious effort not to do it. I understand how automatically it happens, though. It’s like how the tone of your voice chages when you start talking to a small child. I know I do it.

Here via Carnival of Family Life.

By: Play Library » Carnival of Family Life #21 at Play Library

Play Library » Carnival of Family Life #21 at Play Library — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 12:54:38 +0000

[...] Elizabeth at Genbetween has been taking care of her elderly father who’s now in a wheelchair. It’s not an easy job at all and she has to be very mindful not to treat her father as she would her kids. [...]

By: Latte Man

Latte Man — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 04:18:32 +0000

I think Chelle nailed it pretty well. You may be seeing “similarities.” But they are not coming from the same place, and while you may very well have started doing it around the time he wound up in the wheelchair, it is more likely (in your case… can’t defend the others) that you are just trying to fill the role you mother played previously. Add to that, when he “didn’t get around” to telling you that he missed several days of work “because he didn’t want to bother you” and you have the justification (whether conscience or not) to ensure he is taken care of properly.

By: -d

-d — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 18:52:49 +0000

I totally get it!

I find myself saying to my father “did you sleep thru the night?” and “Did you eat today? What did you eat?”

and my favorite, “Did you tell the nurse about that blah blah blah”

He’s quite capable but I want to “take care of him” like I do my kids.
-d

By: Chelle

Chelle — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 05:25:29 +0000

People are idiots. Did that sound a little crabby?

You’re just worried about your Dad. I think the way you are looking after him is much different that the general (idiot) public at large. Most men need a little hand holding…at least my Dad and husband do, lol. If your Dad gets grumpy, he probably deserves to, sounds like.

By: R*belle

R*belle — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 00:07:44 +0000

I don’t think there is an easy answer to this one, but I am sure that since you are conscious of it, it isn’t as bad as you think.