It’s No Secret: Stigma Hurts
February 15, 2008 by Alicia Sparks, Mental Health Notes
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
Ever heard of Post Secret? The Web site gives a little history about itself, but in a nutshell it’s a place where people can anonymously dump all of their deepest, darkest secrets onto total strangers around the world.
And, like TMZ.com, Post Secret is one of my guilty pleasures a site I sometimes visit (though, I’m pretty sure I can’t use Wentworth Miller-stalking as an excuse for this one).
So, anyway, during my most recent lurk I ran across two postcards quite relevant to the subject discussed here at MHN, i.e. mental health. While I normally just accept these secret-telling postcards for what they are – forms of therapy for many folks – these two stuck with me.
In an effort to avoid copyright infringement, I’m going to give you links to the pictures rather than the pictures themselves, but I’m quite interested in hearing what you have to say about them.
- Some days all the medication and social stigma make me regret getting help.
- No one sends you flowers when you are crazy!
Don’t worry honey, I didn’t get flowers either.
I want to find these people and hug them. And then give them a big speech about the ignorance of stigma.
I found your blog the other day and I have been going through your posts every chance I get.
When I saw the card from Post Secret about regretting getting help, I couldn’t help but feel like they wrote that about me. And yet, I can’t help but tell everyone that I have problems…and I know I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for getting help. But the girl in the image on this post looks like how I feel 24/7…and I hate it!
Heather: Fabulous, I hope you’re finding things that can be helpful to you!
I understand how you’re feeling regarding the post card – for me, there even used to be a time when I’d “keep score,” so to speak, of who did and did not know what I was dealing with. OK, she knows I have BP so I can speak freely with her… Alright, he doesn’t know, so how am I going to sneak away to this doctor appointment…? Then, the constant reminding myself that this is part of my life and a health issue just as real and relevant as any other health issue finally stuck with me.
Are there times when I get nervous about a “new” person finding out? Sure. The prospect of facing a whole new batch of the same ol’ stigma isn’t always appealing, haha. Have I told everyone I know or do I tell each new person I meet? No, but I don’t think diabetics introduce themselves with “and by the way, I have diabetes” each time they meet someone new, either, ha.
So, I guess my long-winded point is that yes, we have to tell people – like you said, we have to have help. And, while we have the right to tell who we want and not tell who we want, we also have to come to a point where we 1) realize the “risk” of being stigmatized, and 2) are strong, confident, and educated enough to deal with it without being knocked off balance and losing sight of the mission, which is taking care of ourselves!
Thanks so much for chiming in, Heather