It’s official. I hate online dating.

“Imperfection” by
enggul via FlickrHere’s the thing. I’m not perfect. I’m not living on my own right now, I’m not making quite what I’m intending to make, and I’m living with my dad for the time being.

I know, I know… the way I see the world and it’s inhabitants is far different than the way others might see it. But damn it, I was talking to a guy on IM this morning and when we got to the part where I explain how and why I’m living with my dad, he suddenly disappeared. Actually, it went something like this:

Me: (explaining all the details of the past 7 years in brief, detailing the fact that I’m not a mooch, have lived on my own, financially independent, before for three years, etc.)
Him: And you’re how old again?
Me: 31
Him:
Me: Hello?
Him:
Me: (knowing what was going down) hahahahahahahaha
Him:
Me: (after 15 minutes of no replies) Something wrong?
Him: (signed off)

I can’t stand being judged on stupid stuff like that. Do people really think that despite my claims to the contrary, that I LIKE this living situation? I mean, I love my dad… 1000%. Love my mom that much too. But I’ve already lived on my own, completely self sufficient financially, and because I had a complete change around of my life (I used to be a zookeeper – it’s what I went to college for, and I now own a web development business) I had to make some changes. I floundered for a couple years, because my whole world was flipped upside down on me! But I’m here, and finally, 3 years into owning my business, can I say that the goal of buying my own house is visible to me on the horizon. How is this bad?

This was one of those things my ex used to throw in my face. I had an argument with a friend one day, and she used it against me as well. And now today, this guy who seemed kind of cool, bailed on me as soon as he read that I don’t live on my own (despite the fact that I pay all my own bills, and even contribute to the general household bills).

Keep in mind, I’m not crushed or emotionally devastated by this guy’s “bailure” (pun intended). In fact, I think he showed me a lot about who he is in the very short convo we did have. (He didn’t know what a blog was… for starters, there’s proof we’d have nothing in common!) He’d mentioned that he wanted to move out of NY (something I’ve considered but wouldn’t do for anyone except Mr. Absolutely Perfect.) He’d worked his way up with his questions trying to find out how much I make in a year. When I called him on it, he denied it, but I’m not stupid. My ex was a money focused person, too. I know the signs.

I just don’t understand why people just judge so much based on such stupid crap. I’m a pretty good person and friend. I’m a great girlfriend. I’m freaking awesome at being someone’s significant other. My life has NOT gone as I’d envisioned it all along, no. I’ve had to grow brand new dreams and goals for myself from the ground up. And I’m well on my way to reaching them. Doesn’t that count for something?

I swear, in the past 6 months between this guy, the guy who I haven’t heard from in a week since I told him that I knew his coworkers, and the guy who decided that I’m too loud, wear ghetto-fab earrings, and look “like the kind of girl who’d date a black guy” as if it were a bad thing, the uber clingy pink rose boy, the guy who guilt tripped me after I told him I wasn’t feelin’ it, and my ex… I don’t know what the hell to do, but I’m sure as heck going to put all that more energy into Being Fabulous all by myself at this point. Online dating is really freaking me out lately. What is WRONG with people!?!