J&K+8 = Marriage Reality
January 16, 2008 by Tracee Sioux
Filed under Parenting
Maybe those who criticize the marriage of Jon & Kate plus 8 haven’t figured this out:
Happily Ever After was a damn lie. No one rides off into the sunset. The days are not all rosy and loving and no one is spending hours every day lying in bed telling each other how wonderful the other is. It’s just not the reality of marriage.
The reality is this:
Half (50%) of Americans get divorced.
Statistically, it’s probably accurate to assume that ALL married people find marriage challenging and MOST married people are sometimes unhappy in their marriage and EVERY married person sometimes does something imperfect.
In fact, the state of marriage is in such trouble that the federal government is now trying to help people stay married by providing marriage education courses free of charge regardless of income. You know if anti-welfare George W. Bush is providing free social services to try to help people avoid divorce - marriage is having some serious problems.
All the romantic movies and fairy tales and expectations were simply a load of crap.
Marriage is this: very hard work.
If you consider staying miserably married a failure in itself, and I do, then way more than the majority of us are failing at it.
Jon & Kate’s marriage is a resounding success (statistically they’ve beaten the average divorce rate of multiples parents, which is two or three times higher than for parents of single children) and it’s a shame that anyone’s marriage would be so highly criticized. Holding on to our absurd fairy-tale ideals about what marriage should be like isn’t going to help anyone’s marriage.
Pretending that marriage is as easy as happily ever after never helps anyone’s children grow up to be good at the difficult job of being a spouse. It is better that their 8 children are exposed to the reality of the hard work, conflict and conflict-resolution that goes into a marriage, so they will have a clearer understanding of marriage before they do it expecting happily ever after.
What criticism of their marriage does is dismiss all the hard work and trial and error that a successful marriage, like Jon & Kate’s, involves.
You know what I think? I think if you’re critical of other people’s marriage - well, you’re probably critical of your own spouse. And criticism is a sure marriage killer.
No, I’m not over reacting - notice no !!! or extra letters added to words for effect as other posts contain. I’m just stating my opinion.
I love the show, but do think Kate is very b—-y and condescending to Jon. Correcting his grammer, his pattern of speach, the way he speaks to the children, makes her look really bad. I was always taught that this behavior can be forgiven, but not forgotten. Think about it Kate is this how you want to represent yoursel. I think that reacting like this when the cameras are running is thoughtless. I admire Kate, John and the children, but do have an opinion.
Roberta, think about, probably the only part of their life together that isn’t taped is when everyone’s asleep, and who knows? Maybe they even tape that too, just incase a kid wakes everyone up! So therefore, this whole “NOT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA!” piece is unrealistic and implausible. I can understand also how you think she reacts like that far to often, but once again, Cameras, They edit out boring parts and stick with the parts that either a) Are cute and endearing (sure to bring more watchers)
b) Stressful (more intresting than watching a faked happily ever after piece)
or
c)Fight pieces, to make you think there is more drama than there is, to keep viewers interested and concerned that the couple may not always be together.
Now if these are the only pieces collected, that means at least 33% if not more of the show has to be fights. So even if they only fought once every four or five hours, that would equal a huge amount of time in those 30 minutes, meanign that they confuse viewers into thinking either Kate, John or the kids are ticking time bombs of frustration and anger.
Okay Jo, got it, you have a very stong opinion. lol
This show is a joke…..it is time for it to end so these poor children can have a chance at a normal life. They are being robbed of so much so that their parents can have tummy tucks, hair implants, spa treatments, golf , professional trainer & renewal vows in Hawaii. Hope it will all be worth it for Jon & Kate because these poor children are going to need lots of therapy to deal with the fish bowl life they have been forced to live.
that is so not true!jon and kate are doing fine with the twins and sextuplets.they seem to be happy and mabey your just mad and jealous.
Firstly, if I may ask, have you actually watched a full episode of the show, or are you just going off unreliable gossip garbage? Secondly, Those kids may grow up to be spoiled, but they will certainly not grow into therapy, they all have loving parents who are doing wonderfully for parents of 8 kids at teaching their children simple values, like friendship, obedience and patience. They go out every single week to a new place, meaning they are also no where near living a fish bowl life.
The only bad thing I can get out of this, that you seem to think that may actually be true is that the show may not have been the best choice for the kids because of their exposure to the media at such a young age, however, judging by the fact that an income would have been ardous struggles when you have that many kids it may have been what they needed in the beginning just to make ends meet.
And since the kids have already become celebrities of sorts, that means that even if they withdraw from the media life, they will still never “just” be Jon and Kate, or Hannah, or Mady, Or Carra, or Leah Or Alexis, or Joel, or Aiden, Or Collon, no now that they have been entwined into the medias deadly grasp, they will always be recognized, and complaining wont do any good, because its alreayd irreversible.
Are you kidding me momof3. This show is not a joke. I see it that these kids are getting to do all kinds of things that most don’t. I think Jon and Kate are doing a fine job with the kids. Sounds like someone is a little bitter about all the great things that are happening to this family.
I love the show. Stop watching it if you can’t handle it!
Beverly you are correct!! And if this show is so terrible why are other families jumping on the bandwagon showing their family lives? I thought the wedding in Hawaii was beautiful and it gave Jon’s family a chance to meet the kids. They are all so adorable and yet to me they seem normal children. Having their ‘I didn’t do it” and “Not me” and yet the hugs and kisses of siblings. Yet there is mom and dad being the proud parents everytime one of the kids do something….it just happens 8 times more than the usual family. I have said it before if you don’t like the show, don’t watch it!
Thanks Sandy,
Yes the Hawaii wedding was so perfect! Even when they had to correct the kids during the cermony. PRICELESS! My husband dosn’t care for the show but I LOVE IT! That’s why we have two TV’s LOL Like I said before if you don’t like it, don’t watch it!
I think its a great show, ppl are jealous of them but the simple truth is, I would do what they are if i had that many kids or not! and for the record, they are different than just having eight kids, 6 of their kids are the SAME age, thats crzy!! I dont care what anyone says!
Has anyone seen or read their new book?
I think the show is contrived and does not in any way depict a normal family doing normal things. In a normal family, parents set a good example for their children and rear them to have a good set of values. It is not normal for children to see both of their parents staying home all day, except to go to the gym, have their hair done and Kate’s toenails painted. What kind of a role model is this for children? Taking four-year olds and even eight-year olds for pedicures and spa treatments is absurd. What will they have to look forward to?
It is unlikely that these eight children will grow up and for each of them to have their own tv show with all the attendant freebies. In all likelihood, these kids will have a very different adult life than their parents. It may be a rude awakening for them to find out that everything is not free and making a living and raising a family is hard work.
In a way, the G’s life is like one living on welfare. They don’t have to do a lot for what they get. They seem to be drowning in things. Kate’s most important problem each day is determining if she has matching socks for the kids outfits.
At some point, this family will start to wear off on the viewing public and they may have to make it on their own.
Unfortunately, neither parent is well educated and capable of earning a large income to support this large family. One can only hope that a huge chunk of the earnings off the children have been placed in college funds for the children but I don’t think so.
Jon was a college dropout and from what has been said on the show, he was indulged with trips and expensive sports. He was really never held accountable by his parents and urged to accomplish anything like completing college. From the way that Kate behaves and talks about medical issues, i.e. she is squeamish about blood and things like removing Jon’s stitches, I tend to think she may be a practical nurse and not the more educated registered nurse.
I really feel sad for this family. Things came to good too fast and it will be hard for them to live on a lesser scale. I don’t think many on this forum are jealous of the lack of privacy that they all have. I know that no amount of money would conduce me to share my children’s private lives with the public. Kate seems to thrive on it and she doesn’t care who she annoys. It is really sad to see her screaming across a room or building “Jon”. She has emasculated this man, if he even developed into a man the way he was brought up.
Education is not important to Jon and Kate. Have you ever seen their bedtime routine? They don’t read to the children or have the older ones read to them for practice. They lock the kids in their rooms for three-hour naps. The last thing they do is pop a video into the tvs in their rooms. They are babysat electronically.
They appear to be a little behind in social skills. You don’t see many children four years old dragging around an old blanket with their thumbs in their mouths. Eight-year old little girls love to take ballet class and they go to Brownies, etc. The G’s have their kids go to a school an hour from their house so their classmates are not nearby whereby the twins would be going to birthday parties and sleepovers, etc. Their whole life revolves around the tups.
I can understand why Mady acts up. She is really an old soul in a little girl’s body. By the time she was three, her childhood was over and everything revolved around the tups. In a big way both the twins are ignored. The tups are where the big money is. Without the tups, J & K wouldn’t have the show.
I only hope that if they have moved into their mansion that they have enough money socked away so that she can have maids to clean all the bedrooms, bathrooms and workers to maintain the yard. Having a house in such an isolated setting makes it hard for kids to have a variety of playmates and experience other people. I know that when I was growing up and when we were raising our kids that we always [or my parents] looked at the children situation before we moved to a neighborhood. Our yards were always filled with kids. We always had an inground pool and my mother had the rule that you had to bring a mother if you wanted to swim.
I see this family so far removed from social activities other than paid trips and vacations that they will have a difficult time even if they were to go away to college adjusting to the real world.
Wow! Linda to be such an expert on people. Your life must be perfect and your childhood perfect and your children …..my my. It is hard for any one of use say what we would do or not do….but we should remember when pointing a finger at someone three fingers are pointing back at you. I can only say that I feel Kate and Jon do the best they can and yes, it is hard on the twins as it would be on any child who has a new sibling, oh wait, its 6 new siblings at one time. Shame on you for thinking you know what is best for everyone else.
Sandy,
I thought you did not mean for this to be a ‘running dialog’. For this to be true for you, you might need to give up defending the Gosselins.
LOL Jo. I know and I shouldn’t be defending them, but those kids are so DARN CUTE!!!!
All of them, even Kate and Jon.
Hey, gals, this blog is almost as entertaining as the TV show. LOL
The kids are great - they seems well adjusted and like to interact with people. Kate has some great qualities BUT she is setting a poor example for the way she treats Jon - she belittles the heck out of him! It certainly isn’t the way a wife is supposed to treat her man according to Ephesians - with honor and respect. Women don’t realize that men think differantly than we do… love and harmony is worth more than yelling over 10 bucks that may have been saved by him “forgetting” to use a coupon. Walk in the light, Kate!
Nancy, you said it well. My sentiments exactly.
What is Kate’s problem? She is so negative, angry, sarcastic and bitter I can hardly watch the problem. This last episode was horrible - with all her negative and “know it all” remarks. Is it PMS or what? I can only guess the reason why the kids are so miserable, crying, hitting and argumentative is because their mother is the same way.
Paulette, I agree that Kate has way too many “bad days” — at least it seems that way on the program. I wish she could chill out a bit and learn to enjoy each day with her wonderful husband and family. She has so many “perks” and so much to be thankful for. She is always saying, “My kids deserve” this or that and, yes, they do…. but they also deserve a happy home with a happy mom who is setting a good example for them to follow. I enjoyed the show a lot at first but I am not enjoying it as much now because of Kate’s demeanor. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll tune in.
Wow thats alot of judgement on one page….
Hey Brittany I agree.
No one has walked in Jon and Kate’s shoes.
Like at the beginning of the show Kate said
It’s our life! So people just let them live it. Enjoy them or don’t watch. I Enjoy them so I watch.
Linda in NM That comment about LPN’s compared to RN’s was uncalled for!There are LPN’s out there that are much better than Most RN’s. I went into nursing to give good quality nursing to patients not to make more money!
Has anyone heard how Kate reacting to what Jon supposedly done with the college girls.?
We all do the best we can and you can’t say what you would do different if you don’t have eight kids. Marriage is hard even when you have one kid. I don’t think that Kate treats Jon bad it’s just she has more on her mind so she has to verbalize things more than he does. It can be stressful to take care of all the kids and I can see why people would think she is mean to him but I don’t think she does it with bad intentions sometimes when we speak it comes across as rude or bossy but it’s not meant to be taken that way it’s just we are trying to get out point across quickly. The bottom line is that they are a real family regardless of the show and we should want what is best for them and their kids.
I hope they can work it out because thous kids need them both full time.
I can’t believe how cruel and judgmental some people are. I really love the show, and know that both Jon and Kate love and devote themselves to each and every one of their children. I watch the show for tips on how to make raising my two little girls (2 1/2 and 7 months) more efficient, practical, organized, and fun. Kate is phenomenal with all of her ideas and systems. She really works hard to give her kids good structure, routine, nutrition, and experiences. Sometimes, she doesn’t communicate nicely, but I love how neither she nor Jon use profanity or ugliness. Given her level of responsibilities, she handles her stress well. Jon is a wonderful father, but Kate really organizes things amazingly. Anyway, I think they’re having counseling to work on their communication. I think ppl judge them for past shows, too. None of us are perfect. I wish this family the best!
American these days are too quick to judge. I am a recently divorced woman and I can sympathize with Kate. I think that too many times we find ourself married for the right reason. Then a couple of years pass and we realize that what we though that we wanted together we no longer want. I think that couple start to grow apart and just don’t want to admit it. I think that they just go out and cheat and the other one gets pissed off and leaves them. I think that it takes a real woman to stand there and say that she wants to do what is right. She needs to figure it out and when she does she will do it. I think too often society makes couples feel that they have to stay together no madder what if there are children involved. They define the “All American Family” as two childen and two point five pets. That sit down to supper every night and discuss what is going on. Is that realistic now? HELL NO!!! It is getting to be to much of a fast past world. I think that they should not stay together for the children. I think that often times couples stay toghether to help and all they do is end up causing more damage then doing good. Kate holds her head up high and is not swayed by what people have to say about her and her marriage Kudos to her!!! I think that she carries herself with great poise and grace. I think that she is a woman that a lot of us woman should look up to. I am telling you that I don’t think that I could conduct myself with such poise and grace as her. She is truly an amazing lady. I wish her the best of luck!
I LOVE THE ShOw!!!kate is awesome and the kids well educated,my two years old watched w me….stop hating people…Kate keep going!!!