Judge not…lest you have to decide one day
April 9, 2009 by Marijke Durning, RN
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
Yesterday, I wrote about little Kaylee Wallace, a dying 2-month old infant in Ontario, Canada (A transplant planned, a transplant not done ). It’s a heart The Wallaces were told that if Kaylee was taken off the respirator, when she fell asleep, she would die. So, they decided that this was what had to be done. That if they allowed it to be done like this, Kaylee’s heart would be viable and usable for another child. In this case, 1-month-old Lily. It’s hard to say fortunately or unfortunately, but what happened next surprised everyone. Kaylee didn’t fall asleep for an hour – and she didn’t stop breathing. The O’Connor family learned that the transplant wasn’t going to happen, so they go back to waiting, hoping, perhaps praying, that a miracle will happen. And Kaylee’s parents have been left with a backlash that wasn’t expected. It’s bad enough that they have this tragic situation to deal with. They made their decision based on what they were told by the doctors, what they saw with their own eyes, and what they felt was the best thing to do given the whole picture. For that, they have been accused of wanting their daughter to die and in participating in trying to kill her. Now, they are faced with the possibility that Kaylee will live – and they won’t love her any less. They will do their best to provide and love her as they would have anyway. I challenge anyone who would criticize their decision either way to think about what they would do – what they would truly do – if faced with the same circumstances. The truth is that unless we’re faced with it, we don’t know what we would do. We *think* we know what we’d do. But if you’d asked the Wallaces before their child’s birth if they would make a decision, I’d be willing to bet that their answer would have been “absolutely not.” Here is more on this sad story – because it truly is a sad one and I feel for both families and their friends: Baby Kaylee struggles on . ~~~ Click here to read more in this organ donation series. Image: MorgueFile.com
breaking story of parents who were told that their baby would die and their decision to give the chance of life to another deathly ill infant, Lily O’Connor, whose family is from many miles to the east, in the province of Prince Edward Island.
I too was surprised at the backlash these parents received about baby Kaylee.
My goodness, to have to make the heart-wretching decision to remove your baby from life support is bad enough. But to say they “wanted” their child to die?! Never would I think that, ever! As you said, they made a decision based on what they were told. If they could give life to another baby because theirs likely wouldn’t survive, well I think that is wonderful. No one knew baby Kaylee would breathe on her own.
Shame on those that are making the accusations against baby Kaylee’s parents.
I very much agree Marijke, “Judge not…lest you have to decide one day”. A very fitting title for this article.
Karen, you took the words out of my mouth. How dare others judge them for what they chose to do. How is it different from removing life support from an adult who had a heart attack and has no chance of recovery?
Shame on them. That really is a good title for this article.
Parents conceive children, they have the right to make decisions about their care. I lost four children to miscarriage. You’re never the same when a child of yours dies before you do. I’m praying for this traumatized family.
What sounds so bad is that it appears that some are trying to persuade Kaylee’s poor parents that they are making an “unselfish” decision for the good of a child more entitled to life than their own child is entitled.
That’s what feels like a knife in the back, that anyone would make such a sham judgment of the relative value of one life over another.
Both of those babies deserve to live. God bless everyone involved in this grave situation.