Just Golden: On Consistency and Change
May 16, 2007 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
Consistency is golden for children with autism is the title of a May 16th story about 6-year-old Ryan Bates and his family who live in Cobourg, Canada. Ryan has autism and “has difficulty with change. Any break in routine – which [his sister] 4-year-old Katie would take in stride – brings Ryan to tears. He can’t understand why things have to change.”
True indeed: Sushi is one of Charlie’s favorite foods and, to celebrate his 10th birthday, we took him out to a restaurant and ordered some California rolls. The rolls came out on sculpted ceramic platters and Charlie ate them, but with a most serious look on his face: He would prefer, I think, to have had his sushi come in a plastic pack from the supermarket; he did not eat all of his sushi, and gave Jim the last piece. This morning, Charlie became very agitated: Jim has been putting him on the bus all this year while I hurry off to my job; I have finished teaching my spring semester classes and was taking my time to leave for work, and my still being around was a change in the routine.
And yet: Things do change. Charlie’s favorite brand of tater tots is not always in the freezer case. We don’t always drive the same route to the grocery store. Sometimes the time for his piano lesson changes. Teachers and therapists move on to other careers and jobs. The sleeves of the blue fleece pullover that Charlie so likes to wear are getting too short. Consistency is golden, but gold can tarnish to different hues, or bend subtly over time—-can change, as can Charlie.
In the past for Charlie’s birthday we have bought him “exactly what he likes”—or what we thought he might like—a certain pack of sushi according to the usual routine. This year’s birthday dinner in a “real” restaurant with college-age customers chatting and business men at the sushi bar presented something new, something challenging for Charlie who was nervous while waiting and eating, and then happy and smiling on a walk with Jim as I waited to pay the bill.
Or rather, if I may say so, Charlie was just golden.
oh, my, yes! charlie IS golden! and MANY MANY happy birthday wishes to him from all of us here in this mom’s household. 10. what a milestone!
I meant to wish Charlie a happy 10th (and happy Charlie 10th to you, too!), but it got past me.
There were days when the day’s dinner was designated by the day of the week with John Paul. Fortunately, as he’s gotten older, those days are over. JP turned 12 on Monday (one day before Charlie’s big day!), and I was able to ask JP what he wanted for his birthday dinner. His response: pizza (half cheese, half pepperoni), Ranch beans (wha…?), strawberries, and birthday cake. Oh, and the cake? Milk chocolate, vanilla frosting, and sprinkles. Done. Done. Done. And done. Oh, but the cake was homemade…that produced a bit of a frown, but he braved it, tasted it, and smiled.
Things DO change.
All is good with our men and their birthdays, right?
Happy birthday 2 days late for your little man! Exact same cake combo—well, “brownie” cake (I made things easy on myself and used a gluten-free brownie mix) with white frosting and lots of sprinkles (”jimmies,” as Jim likes to remind me—ranch beans? ??
I am anxious to know about those ranch beans…sounds like something Nik would love! LOL
Happy belated birthay to JP, too!
Happy Belated Birthday Charlie! You are now officially a Tween kiddo! Hope you had a terrific birthday!
Big Brother keeps asking me when he will be a “Tween” it’s become a popular thing to say at his school
He’s got a little ways to go yet!