Comments on: Just the Middle School Blues?

By: Autism Vox 2008 in Review: August-December

Autism Vox 2008 in Review: August-December — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 09:05:56 +0000

[...] started middle school in September and, by October, he was deep into middle school blues, and Jim and I found ourselves back into the old familiar advocacy mode, including meetings with [...]

By: What’s going on with “Autism 911″?

What’s going on with “Autism 911″? — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 09:19:01 +0000

[...] hormonal and other changes has made this school year—already challenging as Charlie started middle school—-even more, well, [...]

By: Kristina Chew, PhD

Kristina Chew, PhD — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 06:40:13 +0000

Bonnie wrote:

Casey too goes to school each day with not so much as a look back, never fights me, never says much negative about it. IT’s weird. Sometimes I wonder if he’s just holding it together, ya know? He knows he has no choice in the matter so he gets by. There again, I think if this were the case, he would be acting out at home more, and he’s really quite good,….

sensing the exact same thing with Charlie, I mean really!

By: Wendy

Wendy — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 01:50:34 +0000

Kristina-we’ve been there! I think the hormones are a real factor around 11 1/2 and 12.Our son Tony (who is now 13 and a half) had a tough time navigating all of the changes his body was experiencing. He 4″ taller than I am and still growing. For about a year he was very moody. But he has matured so much.

I also think the hormones throw their sensory systems out of whack.

I would look into the bus situation as well. We started driving Tony back and forth to school last January. We had 2 problems-first, transportation moved the drop-off point from the special access drop off to the front of the school-one of the busiest streets in Minneapolis. The head of transportation actually told me “the special ed access door is for people with real disabilities!” We had to have 2 meetings and amend his IEP. Tony is a runner. He would have been in danger. The bus driver resented this because he had to make 2 stops-one for the other kids in the front and one for Tony.
The second problem was that the driver was a real control freak about seating. It is a long story-but it made the ride so stressful.

While we were trying to resolve these problems I drove Tony to school. Immediately there was a huge change in his whole school day. Plus, we didn’t have to spend 15 -30 minutes waiting in the window. We walk out the door at 9:15 sharp. He listens to his music in the car. He arrives at school calm. Our mornings are easier because we don’t have big tantrums either.

PM is a bit more difficult because I lose a very productive hour.

By: animita

animita — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 20:32:49 +0000

I have been reading your blog regularly for last one year and it’s been psychologically very uplifting for me. My son Anan who is 12 years old with Autism has striking similarities with Charlie and reading your blog has brought lot of changes in my attitude and helped me to deal with lot of challenges.
I wated to share with you that Anan has faced similar challenges in the last 2 years in his school and at home as well. As you have pointed it out that when staff at school sees a tall and strong teenager (Anan is 5′6″ tall and 120 pound, very active), the whole outlook changes and our kids perceive that as well. When the staff reacts to these behaviors (overstimulated, anxious, not sure how to react) with anxiety, fear and lack of understanding, it makes it worse. This is what happened to Anan when he was attending a special ed classroom in a public school (one of the best in CT), his behavior went downhill and clearly they were incapable of handling it with best of their resources (he had 2 aids for him). The point was he did not need 2 aids, he needed understanding (which no one did except his new in the block special aid teacher). So, he was moved to a school which was just for kids with autism spectrum and everything statrted calming down. I need to add though that with things better at school, our attitude and behavior changed as well and things statted falling into place.
I think, now it is time when attention should be paid towards his behavior and try to make things calmer for him and providing him with alternatives to handle anxious moments and avoiding to place extra demands on him. It takes time but they figure it out eventually with everyones help.
Hope this helps.

By: Tanya

Tanya — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:09:32 +0000

My oldest daughter (iADD possible PDD-NOS) is also one full year younger than her peers in 7th grade (she turned 12 on 8/4). It’s very difficult. Actually, this year, we are homeschooling her and I don’t foresee sending her back to Public school any time soon. I’m currently debating what to do with my four-year old son who is on the spectrum. His b-day is 8/27 with a cut-off of 8/31 for K! Augh. Can’t send him to his current preschool for a third year and am not ready to put him in K next Fall. Like Charlie, he is big for his age which doesn’t help matters any. In the meantime, if I don’t send him to K, I need to find an appropriate alternative.

By: Stimey

Stimey — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:31:17 +0000

School can be so tough. It’s tough for ALL kids, and it’s even more complicated for our special kids. We’re going through a similar difficult transition into kindergarten. I’m thankful that he’ll be in the same school for the next five and a half years. But middle school will be a big transition. Good luck to all of you!

By: FXSmom

FXSmom — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:00:00 +0000

Matty isn’t really in a grade either. He is paced. Like Charlie he started mid school this year too. We have had the opposite experience than you. I’m so sorry that things have been such a struggle.

By: Bonnie

Bonnie — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 15:00:34 +0000

Kristina, I so empathize with you. Casey has such a lovely class last year oh boys who had behaviors and levels similar to him, great parapros, a wonderful teacher, and 4 years behind him in the same school. Now, this year has been tough for him too. I won’t go into detail, and I don’t have much advice to offer you since I am not really getting a good grasp of things myself with my own kid. Casey too goes to school each day with not so much as a look back, never fights me, never says much negative about it. IT’s weird. Sometimes I wonder if he’s just holding it together, ya know? He knows he has no choice in the matter so he gets by. There again, I think if this were the case, he would be acting out at home more, and he’s really quite good, short of a few outbursts when he ends computer time or isn’t allowed something.
I don’t know, I just hope things work out for you. You are blessed as I am with a real intuition into your son’s feelings and situations in general, and unfortunately, it causes us to worry all the more.
Please keep us apprised of how things are going and thanks so much for sharing so much relatable information!

By: Kristina Chew, PhD

Kristina Chew, PhD — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:22:04 +0000

thanks so much, everyone—–I knew transitioning to another school, and middle school at that, would be hard. It would have been really nice for Charlie to stay in his previous classroom for another year. He’d been with these boys for a couple of years and the idea was to move them as a cohort. I have pointed out that Charlie is a full year and more younger than some of the other boys, but I think this fact gets a bit lost sometimes due to his being so much bigger and, too, having hair on his upper lip.

The bus has never been a challenge for Charlie and it’s not really—-it’s just that, it’s hard enough as it is to get him up and out the door, and the welcome mat is not exactly being laid out for him when the bus arrives. It’s been ok, but a couple of weeks ago Charlie got really, really upset on the bus because another child was screaming; the other child had gotten on the bus screaming and just never stopped.

Monika, I remember you writing to me a while back—it’s really great to hear about John and your words are giving me a lot to think on, thank you. Our time with Charlie when he comes home from school has been, frankly, quite easy and we still take him out as many places as ever. I talk a lot to Charlie, too, about it being hard to be in a middle school and about how his body is changing and he might be feeling things that seem new and strange, and that it’s all very confusing. Most of we try to make it unwavering clear to Charlie that he’s loved and always loved, and that we’re with him in every struggle.

@lisadom, thanks for letting me know about the new blog — yes, the school just seems huge, plus there have been many new expectations on Charlie. I think he might be having a delayed reaction to it all—-he has gotten sick a couple of times this year, whereas last year he only caught one cold. And we have begun to wonder how things might be different for Charlie.

@Jen, yes middle school and puberty simultaneously have been a double whammy for us!

@Kristen, Charlie’s always been big for his age, too. I could never imagine life without him—-our kids really do make everything better, I know this for sure.