Kevin Federline awarded custody of children

While not the proudest moment in male parenting history, a court awarded Kevin Federline custody of the children he has with Britney Spears. That’s right folks, Kevin Federline is the best parent those kids have.

A textbook example of the lesser of two evils, a judge awarded custody to Federline after Britney Spears was caught driving without a license / doing drugs / drinking excessively / making horrific music / inviting paparazzi into restroom stalls / being Britney Spears.

Specifics as to the ruling have not been given yet, but things had deteriorated to the point that both parents were required to be screened for drugs and alcohol twice a week. A judge told them both to avoid these substances before taking custody of their kids.

I’m pretty sure that if a judge has to remind you to not do drugs before seeing your kids, you’re not starting off on a great foot as a parent. I’m also pretty sure that if you don’t follow this advice, you suck as a parent.

So, in conclusion, Britney, you suck. I can only hope that Angelina Jolie adopts Britney Spears’ kids to give them a more typical celebrity upbringing.

In all honesty, if you can clean up your act in the name of fatherhood, then good for you. Way to go Kev.