Kids, Careers, and Concubines

One of the hardest juggling acts in the entire universe has to be the ability to spin a career/homemaking and kids on each thumb while doing stomach rolls in a harem outfit.

When people ask me what I do I usually toss off several of my labels, whichever I am thinking of at the time…Mom, writer, chef, foodie, farmer, oh…and concubine.  Generally the person I am talking to does not register the last work for several minutes and then they sort of glaze over, get a confused look, and change the subject.  Quickly.

I am a writer.  I am my childrens’ mom but I am, and always will be, Marc’s concubine.

Children have a way of growing up and leaving home…I know, two of mine have had the audacity to do so.  One lives nearby but the other moved clear to northern Japan…only I think he is in Iraq at this point…anyway..point being, it happens and it happens fast.

Jobs come and go..I am doing well as a writer at the moment.  I have people contact me about book reviews and writing assignments, but popularity is fleeting and who know what can happen? Pouf! Gone in an instant.  Jobs are only a way to finance your lifestyle.

But my relationship with Marc? A lifetime.  Your vision goes wonky in middle age just so you don’t notice that your spouse looks a little different than they used to.  Yes, I am his wife, but the connotation to that is a hostess, a homemaker, a homekeeper.  I do those things.  I do them well.  But those are what I do..still not what I am. A concubine is mysterious, beautiful and sexy.  She is a playmate, with no need to discuss braces, bills, or stopped up toilets.

In our very busy lives time seems to slip away, days and weeks disappear.  If we don’t create a bit of romantic fantasy within the context of our marriages then we become roommates and friends but cease to be lovers.

I don’t know how guys get in touch with their inner knight in shining armor..maybe Marc does…He has slipped from the white horse a few times but always manages to get back up there and straighten his armor out…

but I do know how to get in touch with your inner concubine.

• Have a fantasy life.  As long as the husband is the star of the fantasy it’s good.  Consciously bring romance to the front of your mind, often.
• Buy some new lingerie, even if it doesn’t matter to him.  The biggest mistake I made was going for years without buying nice (sexy) lingerie.  It makes me feel good to wear it.
• Don’t look in the mirror too much.  Have you noticed that as long as you don’t actually look in the mirror you still look the way you did when you were 20?
• Buy a concubine outfit.  Whatever will make you feel like a concubine.  I have several. Sadly, they are in storage at the moment for a variety of reasons..
• Long, slow, passionate kisses.
• LUSH has a bath bomb called Sex Bomb.  If you haven’t tried it…try it. Yummy. Very concubine-ish.

You know, for the most part guys are pretty visual.  You can be his eye candy or you can let someone else be his eye candy…it is up to you.  You can say that it isn’t fair, you can say that it is immature…you can say whatever you please.  But the truth is the truth. Men like to look at women.  Personally, I prefer that my husband look at me rather than the 22 year old waitress.

So, if it comes down to it…is it your marriage or your sweats?