Laugh It Up | Remember The First Time You Bought Condoms?
December 1, 2008 by Scott Wharton
Filed under Men's Health
I honestly can’t remember the first or last time I bought condoms. It’s often awkward the first time and just about every time thereafter buying them. Some people would rather get caught shoplifting and steal them than face a little bit of embarrassment and buy them. Putting one on is pretty simple and common sense. Hell the box comes with instructions…but for some people it friggin’ brain surgery. This is a little dirtier than I like to keep it here, but I couldn’t resist. Enjoy.
I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16 years old and went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was a beautiful female assistant behind the counter and she could see that I was new to this. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.
I answered honestly, “Well, not exactly; this is my first time.” So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to always make sure it was on tight and secure. I nodded yes but apparently I still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was.
“Just a minute,” she said, as she walked to the door and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. “Do these excite you?”, she asked. I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head and smile. She then said it was time to put the condom on.
As I slipped it on nice and secure, she undressed and lay back on the desk. “Well, come on”, she said, “We don’t have much time.”
So I climbed up on the desk and started going to work. It felt so good I couldn’t hold back and BAM!!, I was done within just a minute, if even that long.
She looked at me with a puzzled look. “Did you put that condom on?”, she
asked.
I said, “I sure did”…and held up my thumb to show her.
All jokes aside. Use a condom and if you’re unsure how to apply it, read the directions.
Image Source: Condomdepot.com For everything condom and safe sex.
Awesome
Ha ha, I’ve never had a problem buying condoms, in fact, when I was younger I purchased them on two different occasion for friends because they were too embarrassed to buy the condoms themselves.
this blows
that is amazing!
and so true.
Please visit this forum and plz post this kind of jokes in it.. thanks… Nice posting,,
:))
i call bs on this one…even tho its a good story and everything there is no way that it happened. clerks dont just bang the youngin’s buyin condoms…it just doesnt work that way
Seriously, dude? You have no idea that it’s a joke? I figured someone that nicknames himself “Brynomite” would be able to figure out a joke when he sees one.
Laugh It Up is my weekly spot on this blog where I post a funny joke that I find on the web.
Brynomite, I understand that you didn’t want to be reminded about how you were conceived. Yeeesh We all had to learn one way or another.
I told my sons, if you are too embarrassed to by a condom from a women in a store you’re too young to be trying to use them……Now that I am a grandfather I realize I should have said they were too young for the sex. They didn’t use the condoms cause they were embarrassed to buy them.
Obviously a joke.
Though I’m sure it has happened before. I knew a guy who would bang the store clerk for 15% discount. I bought condoms way before I ever lost my virginity. Always want to be prepared!
Photoshopped!
I remember going into this Asian drug store in California and there were 2 elderly ladies in front of me. I whispered “Do you have any prophylactics?” The Asian guy didn’t understand what I was saying, so I yelled “Do you have the rubber things that go on the end of your dick?” He understood what i said then! And so did the little old ladies!
Condoms are cool and the best ones do not even interfere with the activity.