Laura’s New Home for Christmas (An Alzheimer’s Story)
December 16, 2006 by Mary Emma Allen
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
(In addition to being a blogger, I’m a writer, columnist, novelist, and speaker. I thought you might enjoy occasionally one of my stories relating to Alzheimer’s. This one, Laura’s New Home for Christmas, was published in a Christmas booklet of The Anglican Parish of Sawtill/Bonville [Australia])
“You’re not bringing your mother home for the holidays!” Jennie exchaimed. “You’re leving her in the nursing home for Christmas.”
“I thought this would be best for her,” explained Emily to her friend. “She doesn’t know me much of the time and doesn’t remember where she is when I do bring her home.”
“But to leave her in a nursing home. You’re just thinking of your inconvenience, not your mother’s happiness.”
As Jennie walked away, Emily felt like shouting, “Do you want her for the holidays?”
Of course, she knew Jennie was going to visit her family in another state. Also, Jennie would never have the patience to cope with Laura’s wanderings, changing moods, and disorientation.
Emily remembered last Christmas, when her mother lived with them. Most of the time Laura didn’t know where she was and what they were doing. It had been so sad to see this woman who had enjoyed Christmas…both the family celebration and the religious meaning of the Christ Child’s birth…so confused when they tried to help her participate in the events.
The following week, after the encounter with Jennie, six-year old Ricky accompanied Emily to the Christmas party at the nursing home, Laura’s new home. Families and children and the residents gathered in the dining/activity room. An entertainer played Christmas carols softly at the piano.
“Look at the pretty Christmas tree,” Ricky said to Laura, his grandmother. The older lady in the wheel chair simply stared. Ricky ingnored her lack of response and chattered about the colored lights. “And there’s an angel at the very top,” he exclaimed.
As the staff handed out refreshments, Ricky munched on a star-shaped cookie and held it up for Laura. “See, Granny, here’s a star. It told the wise men where to find the Christ Child.”
Emily fed her Mother ice cream and held a glass of punch to her lips. Laura no longer could feed herself, but she seemed to enjoy the festive food. As Emily thought of the cookies her mother once baked, the whispered secrets about gifts, and Laura’s delight in finding a new ornament for the tree each year, tears brimmed her eyes.
“Why are you crying, Mom?” Ricky asked. “Christmas is a happy time. Look at Grandma. She’s happy.”
Emily glanced at her mother and saw that Laura was tapping her fingers on the arm of her wheel chair in time to the piano music. “She’s singing, Mom,” Ricky added.
Laura’s lips were moving and Emily made out the words to “Silent Night.”
“Grandma knows it’s Christmas,” the young boy announced.
Yes, Emily though, the spirit of Christmas has reached through the haze of Mother’s mind, if just for a little time. It took a little boy to recognize it.
Softly Emily began to sing. Ricky grinned and joined in as he celebrated the Christmas spirit with his mother and grandmother.
(c)2002 Mary Emma Allen
Mary Emma..That was so very beautiful! It has brought tears to my eyes. It also has made me think of all thos eyears when mother was still here in person but gone in spirit for the holidays.
I want to link this on my blog.
Thank you, Cathy, for your comments about my story. I’m hoping that when others read it, they won’t feel guilt if they must leave their loved one at a nursing home for the holidays. I discovered, as the woman in the story, that Mother seemed to feel that was her home and was where she belonged.
Mary Emma, I am going to be gone until Christmas Eve and I wanted to stop in and wish you a great holiday!
I have a story about mom being in the nursing home. It was a very brief time that she was there. I wish it would have been one like the one where your mom was at. It wasn’t! I will blog of it one day.
She did go to an Alzheimer’s day care though, while I was at work, for several years (until she got to bad). She loved it! It was the best thing I think I ever did for her.
That was a very good story. My mom also died of Alzheimer’s and I am currently visiting an elderly lady who was removed from neglectful family members who were stealing her checks and using them for themselves. She doesn’t remember my name but brightens up when I walk in the room which makes both of us happy that I visit her once a week. any little gift, cookies,etc. brighten her day and mine both. I feel by reporting her situation I have helped to bring her to a better place. The nursing home is wonderful, they all act like they love working there.
Carol,
I’m pleased you like my story and you were able to relate it to your experiences. Yes, visits and gifts brighten the day (or the moment) for an Alzheimer’s patient as well as ours.