Learning to Let Go
July 3, 2009 by Eliza Ferree
Filed under Family, Parenting
I will not lie to you, I’m one of those horrible mothers that tend to protect their children as much as they can. So now
IMG: The Life of a Home Mom
that I’ve come clean I can tell you that I’m slowly, very slowly, learning to let them go…ya know let them do things on their own and grow doing it.
In the past I remember the worry I felt when (living on the base) I allowed my oldest son to walk to the gas station by himself. Now on the base this was the hot spot for kids to get snacks, candy bars or the occasional milk for moms. I remember watching the clock and everything and just waiting to see him return. Once he did I got such a relief but knew he could safely walk across the main road and be okay, he knew the rules.
Today, he’s 12 and I’ve finally allowed him to ride his bike down to the local Wal-Mart. This was no easy task for me but I knew he’d been wanting to go. Once his dad was going to allow it but due to the busy main road right there I was hesitant, we are still new to being out of the military and city life that I wasn’t ready. My son was hurt by my saying no, today he was so excited and I knew it was the right thing to do. However with that being stated I will not lie, I did make him take my cell phone as I waited on the computer. He called when he got there and called when his tire blew. He’s home now and once again I’m at ease but I know he can do it again. Of course the first thing he did was come in laughing about his bike blowing both tires and asked, “So are you blogging about this yet?” hehe. Yes he knows me well but knows I love him and am only protective and learning how to let go. Hey, he’s the first I think he’ll be the hardest.
How did you deal with the letting go?
Are you blogging about it yet? Oh that is funny. The girls are the same way. (Mom! Don’t write about this!) I’m very glad that he made it safely, but so sorry to hear about the tires.
he says the tires was the worst part of the trip. He’s all, “Man I finally get to go and something happens.” I did explain that was nature telling him to be careful and not to go fast. He just grinned and said yeah right. lol
I know what you mean. It was very hard for me to let go, but I’ve learned how and now I’m okay about it. I have three adult children, 22 year daughter and 27 year old twin sons. My daughter is away at college and my oldest twin is married with kids and the younger twin is working with my husband and me in the church here. My husband who is ex-military (Army) would always tell me, will let the kids grow up and stop babying them and I would say, ‘I’m not going to apologize for being a mother, I still need to do part and let God take care of the rest. That was actually my prayer whenever they would leave the house, ‘God they are out of my site, but they are in Yours, so please watch over them’ and I would have peace until they returned home ~ So God has helped me greatly in learning how to let go and let Him ~
I understand letting go completely. My youngest is 12 and has been visiting another girl a lot this summer. The other evening when my daughter came home, she said that she and this girl had been riding bikes in the park. At the involuntary look of horror I gave her, she said, “It’s OK, her dad came with us and watched us.” The shame of it is that when I was 12, we went all over the place. Two or three of us girls in the neighborhood would walk to the park to go swimming, walk up the street and cross a busy intersection to go to the local plaza, and walk 8 blocks to the library. My mother never worried about us or thought twice about letting me go. In today’s world, though, I worry so much, and I think it’s a pity sometimes that we feel we must overprotect our children, yet when you see the news and see the things that happen to other people’s children, you kind of want to lock them up and never let go. It’s very difficult raising children today. I loved the blog!