Lesson: How To Be Supportive

Every week we hear all about the economic woes and issues with the world. Companies are folding fast, jobs are disappearing, and everyone is worried about how long this whole crisis is going to last.

Naturally, this is the time where Paul decides it’s time for a career change.

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For the first few weeks, as he started to put out feelers and quietly spread the word that he’s looking, it was easy to just ignore it. As long as we both still have jobs, I can’t exactly complain…right? So I just smiled and listened as best I could. All the time trying to hide the fact that his timing was making me nervous and uncertain about where things would land.

Finally everything came to a head when he turned to me one day and bluntly said, “You never ask.”

“I never ask…what?”

“You never ask how it’s going. If anything has come up. Who I sent my resume to.”

I paused for a few moments to carefully think about my answer. Finally I said,

“That’s because this scares me more than you will ever know. We’re doing alright, both of us know our jobs are pretty secure, and now you want to change all that. I know you don’t love your job…but the selfish part of me is completely overwhelmed at the thought of this kind of change. Right now. With everything going on in the world.”

We talked for a long while after that. About how unhappy he is in his job. Ways we can conserve and continue to build up our savings so we can make our own future instead of constantly wondering what would happen if it all fell apart. I am still nervous – and the thought of changing jobs right now still gives me tremendous anxiety. But I am making more of an effort to swallow my worries a bit (well, as best I can), so I can be the supportive partner Paul needs right now…balancing mention of my concerns with genuine support for his determination and passion for what he does.

It’s all going to work out – but the important thing is that we don’t forget to support each other as we get through it.