Comments on: Let the Healing Start http://www.blisstree.com/articles/let-the-healing-start/ Family, Health, Home and Lifestyles Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:18:54 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Kristina Chew, PhD http://www.blisstree.com/articles/let-the-healing-start/comment-page-1/#comment-546147 Kristina Chew, PhD Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:07:24 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/let-the-healing-start/#comment-546147 IEP meetings get me into full advocacy mode, after and before! I just spent the past few weeks going back and forth over a few points about my son's speech services; I really wanted to get it right. I've had some very difficult exchanges with administrators and "outside contracts" brought in/hired to "manage" my son's behaviors; we had eventually to move to another time (and in with my husband's parents---long story there). I made the reference to the brownies at the very end of this post because my son would certainly eat the whole pan and end up with a colossal stomach ache if I did not say no. Another parent (his son is a teenager) recently spoke about how we need to figure out some way of talking about the limitations and impairments of our kids, while still always maintaining that they do have unique talents and abilities. I stumble a lot in trying to keep both in balance---aiming high but knowing where we're standing. IEP meetings get me into full advocacy mode, after and before! I just spent the past few weeks going back and forth over a few points about my son’s speech services; I really wanted to get it right. I’ve had some very difficult exchanges with administrators and “outside contracts” brought in/hired to “manage” my son’s behaviors; we had eventually to move to another time (and in with my husband’s parents—long story there).

I made the reference to the brownies at the very end of this post because my son would certainly eat the whole pan and end up with a colossal stomach ache if I did not say no.

Another parent (his son is a teenager) recently spoke about how we need to figure out some way of talking about the limitations and impairments of our kids, while still always maintaining that they do have unique talents and abilities. I stumble a lot in trying to keep both in balance—aiming high but knowing where we’re standing.

]]> By: West http://www.blisstree.com/articles/let-the-healing-start/comment-page-1/#comment-548446 West Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:46:24 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/let-the-healing-start/#comment-548446 Kristina: Your response precisely represents my feelings on autism. I've had to learn a lot of patience and alternate ways of looking at things and doing things. And these alternate ways of doing things are 180 degrees different than what I did in my "previous" life/career (such as learning patience, which was something in short supply with me before TW was born). I agree with you, administrative personnel (yes, it's the school system...) can make things hellish. They have responsibilities to help children with special needs, yet they find a mountain of roadblocks that make it difficult for our sons to get the help to which they are LEGALLY ENTITLED. Yep, I've been fired up today, as we had an IEP meeting today. It's just disgusting that the school systems break politics over the backs of our children, and it's really pathetic that they are breaking politics over the backs of a constituency that cannot voice their own needs! Some things do get easier as our sons get older (TW is 6), but their singleminded, intrinsic curiosity about every thing in this world can be dangerous. What the world needs to know is that every autistic child presents their autism in their own way. No two autistic children present their disability (or disabilities) the same way. In some circumstances, autism can heighten wonderful skills for children. The world, however, needs to remember that these children have individual needs and individual talents. Sorry for the long post... Thanks for hearing me out... Kristina:

Your response precisely represents my feelings on autism. I’ve had to learn a lot of patience and alternate ways of looking at things and doing things. And these alternate ways of doing things are 180 degrees different than what I did in my “previous” life/career (such as learning patience, which was something in short supply with me before TW was born). I agree with you, administrative personnel (yes, it’s the school system…) can make things hellish. They have responsibilities to help children with special needs, yet they find a mountain of roadblocks that make it difficult for our sons to get the help to which they are LEGALLY ENTITLED. Yep, I’ve been fired up today, as we had an IEP meeting today. It’s just disgusting that the school systems break politics over the backs of our children, and it’s really pathetic that they are breaking politics over the backs of a constituency that cannot voice their own needs! Some things do get easier as our sons get older (TW is 6), but their singleminded, intrinsic curiosity about every thing in this world can be dangerous.

What the world needs to know is that every autistic child presents their autism in their own way. No two autistic children present their disability (or disabilities) the same way. In some circumstances, autism can heighten wonderful skills for children. The world, however, needs to remember that these children have individual needs and individual talents. Sorry for the long post… Thanks for hearing me out…

]]> By: Kristina Chew, PhD http://www.blisstree.com/articles/let-the-healing-start/comment-page-1/#comment-546141 Kristina Chew, PhD Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:28:32 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/let-the-healing-start/#comment-546141 We've been through a lot as you have to help our son and it's shaken my husband and me to the core of everything at times. Through it all, I've felt sustained by our son--he has had so many struggles. I've had to change a lot of my views and aspirations to adapt myself in ways that are best suited for our son. It's been the other people (some administrative personnel in particular) who have made things on occasion hellish----though Charlie has lots of limitations. things have gotten much easier as he has gotten older, quite to my surprise. Best wishes--- We’ve been through a lot as you have to help our son and it’s shaken my husband and me to the core of everything at times. Through it all, I’ve felt sustained by our son–he has had so many struggles. I’ve had to change a lot of my views and aspirations to adapt myself in ways that are best suited for our son. It’s been the other people (some administrative personnel in particular) who have made things on occasion hellish—-though Charlie has lots of limitations. things have gotten much easier as he has gotten older, quite to my surprise. Best wishes—

]]> By: West http://www.blisstree.com/articles/let-the-healing-start/comment-page-1/#comment-546130 West Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:18:16 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/let-the-healing-start/#comment-546130 Is it not possible to accept the child and not the autism? I accept my son and all of his strengths and weaknesses. However, I don't embrace the autism, because it is like a cloud around his brain, and he struggles to break free of the cloud to be able to communicate with others. We don't let autism hold him back. All of us understand what it is like to have an uninvited guest in our home, and how difficult that can be. Autism is like the uninvited guest who stays longer than they are welcome. Parents and families do the best they can, despite having the uninvited meddling in every part of their lives. Autism is like an uninvited guest...you learn to make the best of things despite the uninvited guest. In learning how to make the best of the situation with autism, it is inevitable that parents of autistic children go through hell and back until they find out what suits their children's particular needs the best. What parents of autistic children call a relatively normal day would probably be viewed by parents of typically-developing children as a rather hellish day... Is it not possible to accept the child and not the autism? I accept my son and all of his strengths and weaknesses. However, I don’t embrace the autism, because it is like a cloud around his brain, and he struggles to break free of the cloud to be able to communicate with others. We don’t let autism hold him back. All of us understand what it is like to have an uninvited guest in our home, and how difficult that can be. Autism is like the uninvited guest who stays longer than they are welcome. Parents and families do the best they can, despite having the uninvited meddling in every part of their lives. Autism is like an uninvited guest…you learn to make the best of things despite the uninvited guest. In learning how to make the best of the situation with autism, it is inevitable that parents of autistic children go through hell and back until they find out what suits their children’s particular needs the best. What parents of autistic children call a relatively normal day would probably be viewed by parents of typically-developing children as a rather hellish day…

]]> By: Rose http://www.blisstree.com/articles/let-the-healing-start/comment-page-1/#comment-548391 Rose Fri, 14 Dec 2007 20:45:47 +0000 http://www.autismvox.com/let-the-healing-start/#comment-548391 I enjoyed Ben, but wondered...he got a lable and I quit enjoying him and was manic to "save" him...then I came to accept him, and have never looked back. Life is so much better after acceptance, but I guess everybody has to go through their own stages to learn that. I enjoyed Ben, but wondered…he got a lable and I quit enjoying him and was manic to “save” him…then I came to accept him, and have never looked back.

Life is so much better after acceptance, but I guess everybody has to go through their own stages to learn that.

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