Lets Have A Meeting!
October 20, 2006 by Mark
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
John has requested a topic and it feels like it is exactly what I need 
Relating to The Traditions, John says;
“What am I supposed to do when I see a tradition is being broken at my meeting? Who is responsible for upholding the traditions? Who sees to it that the group understands that a tradition is being broken?”
Please, feel free to comment… John – much thanks!
Gosh, I have a few notions, but I was really hoping to get some good feedback from the folks who post here. Please help me out here…
John,
I very much appreciate the motivation and I’m actually extremely interested in what everyone’s take on this might be so – thanks again! I also have my own personal thoughts
Off to work – talk atcha later…
at the next business meeting ask for the traditions to be discussed and let the group know what you think may have been stepped on , I just speak right up and say something , But I first do a little fact checking with the old timers . My old home group was great for letting me practice this on a regular bases , one time someone had brought a tape recorder to the business meeting to record everything to play later for another member who couldn’t make it , as well as another time same group someone wanted another group member to vote in there absents, Must people just dont know what the second A in AA is all about , Lastly Always check with my sponsor , better to be thought of as an ass then to open your mouth and confirm it .
Love ya all
Oh yea : Mark hows my spelling ?????? You big baby lol ,,,Love ya brother call me …..
Aaaaah Mr. P!
Your spelling? YOUR spelling??? Oh sure – take credit where credit ain’t due, geeeeeesh. Typical alky…
I’ll try to call ya’ when “the boy” ain’t around this weekend.
“What am I supposed to do when I see a tradition is being broken at my meeting? Who is responsible for upholding the traditions? Who sees to it that the group understands that a tradition is being broken?”
Q1 ~ Take the issue to the group conscious at the business meeting.
Q2 ~ The group is ultimately responsible for upholding the traditions in the meeting and each individual in his/her personal affairs.
Q3 ~ Any individual can bring the issue to the table and show with the literature how a tradition is being broken, then it is up to the group to make a decision.
These are not right or wrong answers just what I know for today.
G~
Thanks Gwen
How about the chairperson at the meeting at the moment the Tradition is being broken?
Anyone?
Thanks for the replies so far. I was thinking a little more like Mark on this question when it comes to the timing of things. What should be done at the moment people are breaking the traditions?
What happens when someone at a closed A.A. meeting introduces themselves as “An Addict”?
What happens when you see guys start “hitting” on the new women? – or visa versa?
What happens when you see someone starts talking about the war or politics during a meeting? -how about right before or after the meeting at the meeting house?
What gets done if someone walks in with a stack of fliers and they start handing them to people that advertise a treatment center anniversary? How about coupons for discounts at the new pizza joint opening 3 doors down? How about a stack of fliers for an A.A. conference?
I know if my sponsor was there, and saw me doing something that wasn’t in line with the traditions, he’s going to pull me aside as soon as he can without making a big scene and let me know how things aren’t done in A.A.
But what happens when my sponsor isn’t around?
What happens when you see someone breaking the traditions and they don’t have a sponsor? or if they’ve been sober a while and sponsor other guys?
These are just some of the things I’ve seen over the last couple of months. When I go to some meetings, noone does anything at all. What happens at your groups?
I had to stop worrying if the meeting was being run to my satisfaction rather then the way it was ssupposed be , juat like I was told along time ago listen to the message and not the messinger,if Igo in loking for falut I surly will fing it in ANYTHIG or ANYONE ,I allways get more out of the meeting when I leave my AA/ P D badge in my pocket .
Love the topic thanks
Mike P AA/ PD {Ret}
opps forgot spell check , sorry,
Mr. P. – “Rather than the way it was supposed to be.” ??? Now, take a short moment and look at the thought here… We’re in a meeting and someone does something completely in violation of AA’s Traditions AND there’s a newcomer in the meeting. How was this meeting “supposed” to be according to my satisfaction??? I hear something that could be used as an excuse by a newcomer to leave the meeting and have a drink. You and I and John and Gwen have all been around long enough to have heard these exact type of things. What is our responsibility here? Are we all of a sudden no longer responsible to bring a meeting back to task? Or should we think not to kill the messenger? This is not a case of AA PD… This is a matter of the reality of what my responsibility to another person desiring recovery is. And my responsibility to AA as a whole. If I cannot bring it back to task after trying I have steps I can work to get past the moment. What does the newcomer have?
Use the dam* spell checker!!!
The home group is where the traditions are supposed to be learned. If a group strays from the traditions too far, they may begin to fail in the task of carrying out their primary purpose. The members of the group are the keepers of the traditions. The members know when it’s time to pass the basket and won’t have a problem reminding the errant chairperson. “When to pass the basket” is a tradition of that particular group. Likewise, the group members should be pointing out when A.A.’s traditions are broken. The groups members should all be informed about A.A. traditions and the history of A.A. If we are to succeed in overcoming the drink problem, we need to try and work the 12 Steps. If there wasn’t a group to come to, we wouldn’t have gotten sober. The Twelve Traditions are to the group what the Steps are to the individual. In order for the group to survive, they must follow the Traditions.
When I see a tradition being broken, I speak out… “Hey, I believe that goes against the Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. I may be wrong but I think it has something to do with the Xth Tradition and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t do that around here.” That’s all I can do. But it’s my responsibility to do that much.
The term A.A. police sort of describes someone that is trying to “catch someone in the act” then impose fines or penalties. That’s something we don’t do and don’t need for sure. All we can do is point out the mistakes and go on. If we try to do anything more then we may be crossing the line.
If someone comes into my homegroup trying to sell raffle tickets to support homeless mothers… you can rest assured the folks at my homegroup will be concerned for homeless mothers. But the person selling the tickets will be notified right there and then about how this doesn’t fit into the Traditions. Something similar to this happened about a year ago and the group conscience spoke up immediately. Several members approached the ticket seller and talked about traditions. The problem was taken care of, no tickets were sold at the group and everyone showed back up the next week.
This is how the group takes care of itself, works it’s “program” and continues to function.
In love and service
The Other Women
by A. Orange
This is a faithful saying: if a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work.
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, soberminded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach;
3 Not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous…
8 Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given much to wine, not greedy for money,
9 Holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience.
10 But let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons, being found blameless. …
12 Let deacons be the husbands of one wife…
1 Timothy 3:1 to 3:12
Ordinarily, I could hardly care less what a man does with his women friends, or whether he has a mistress as well as a wife. There are millions of men who are cheating on their wives, and I’m not going to say a thing about them. But when a group holds a man up as an example of how to live a spiritual life, and even claims that the man is some kind of a saint and a prophet, a man who wrote divinely-inspired books while being “guided by God”, but who turns out to be a hypocritical thieving lying philanderer, then I think we can safely cancel his application for sainthood. And I believe that it casts a lot of doubts on his religious teachings.
Bill Wilson cheated on his wife Lois with many different women, both before and after sobriety. He even cheated on her while she worked in Loesser’s department store to support him. “I’m going to a meeting” was often a double-entendre when Bill Wilson said it. Bill actually invented the old A.A. tradition of Thirteenth Stepping the pretty women who come to A.A. meetings seeking help for alcoholism. (First you teach them the Twelve Steps, and then you take them to the bedroom and teach them the Thirteenth Step….)
Even worse, Bill Wilson’s treatment of his wife Lois can only be describe
Who ever wrote that response obviously thinks little of Bill… but what was that about standing in judgement?
The point is completely missed here. At my homegroup, if a guy was to hit on a new girl, that type of behaviour wouldn’t be tolerated. It’s not about the guy! It’s about one thing and one thing only — The newcomer.
The root of our troubles is selfishness and self-centeredness. That means, always thinking about me. Thinking about what I’m going to get, how I’m going to like it, what’s going to make me happy. So if we’re to break away from the bonds of alcohol, we’re going to need to be pretty much the opposite of selfish. The only way I know how to do that is to stop thinking about me and start thinking about you. In the 3rd edition of Alcoholics Anonymous, there’s a story in the back that mentions: “There are only two sins, to interfere with another persons spiritual growth and to interfere with your own”. That new man or woman deserves the same opportunity I had to get this deal. They come through the door like everyone else, broken, wrecked, torn and afraid. They deserve to be given the very best Alcoholics Anonymous has to offer. It’s extremely selfish to interfere with that.
Also… the term 13th step was originally used by the old-timers. When a member of Alcoholics Anonymous died they were said to have taken that 13th step. The term “13th stepping” came out of that and meant– messing with the newcomers is like signing their death warrant.
In love and service
John,
Since you’ve responded to this puke I’ll leave it up for all to see what motivated your comment. It is however, just another lame attempt to character assassinate Bill W. for the purpose of declaring someone else’s self-righteousness.
AA doesn’t necessarily hold Bill up as an example of a spiritual life – his story is well-known. Neither do we claim he is a saint or a prophet. And where does anyone say that Bill W. taught religion? That is incredibly stupid but – desperate people do desperate things and David/Micky obviously has some desperate need to diminish Bill W.
Sad…
SHORT ANSWER “TAKE EM TO THE PIT” DO WE ALL GO TO REAL LIVE MEETING S?????????????????
THERE S A LOT OF WIND IN HERE “MARK i’LL CALL YA
GOOD LUCK AN GOD BLESS THE REST OF YOU ALL G O Y A an go to a meeting
Hehehe… I wonder how many know what GOYA means?
Anyone other then Mike P.?