Let’s Talk: Rebounds

A reader requested that her thoughts be shared with other Dating Dames readers. I reckon there’s no harm that we talk about this, yea?

They say never say things when you’re emotional because you might regret it later on, because you can never take it back.

Same with “rebounds.” When one is fresh from a breakup, or a failed relationship, one has so many questions left in his/her mind, insecurities come in, and confusion begins. At some point, one would want to do something about it just to feel better. People always crave to feel better. The process of moving on is a tricky one and a rollercoaster ride emotionally. You might want to reaffirm your confidence, and prove to yourself that you want to move on quickly, and maybe, find someone in a short span of time for a lot of reasons. Reasons include (1) forgetting someone, (2) wanting to feel loved again, (3) making the ex jealous, (4) stop being lonely (5) to be able to try to love again, maybe the next person you’d meet would be the one.

Some of the reasons above are good enough, and some not. But always remember that there is another person involved in the “rebound phase,” which is the person you seek to date or commit into a relationship with. That person, standing by himself or herself would see you as you are, and would love you without any other reasons than loving you, and it would be really unfair, and it would just seem that you used one innocent person who believed in you for your selfish reasons. Remember, it’s not just you anymore – there’s another person involved already. So next time you seek to date someone just to “take the pain away” or “forget your troubles” for the meantime, remember that there are other activities or decisions that would be less harmful such as going out with your friends, choosing a new hobby, or concentrating on your work.

Just because it’s better that you don’t hurt anyone in the process of moving on.

Feel free to add your thoughts on the topic. Let’s talk and learn from each other.