Lifting The Curse
My son has an invisible amulet around his neck. It is causing him to use words that he knows are off limits in our house. Not just the usual bad words like “Sucks,” but really bad ones like the B word. I admit to having a potty mouth, at times. I know that it is a habit that I need to break. However, we never use the B word at home and I’m not sure why he suddenly feels compelled to call his siblings this particular moniker when he is mad at them. I’ve tried to discuss the matter with him and he simply says that he cannot stop. This led me to believe that he has a curse on him that is forcing him to say things that are not in his vocabulary.
Okay, seriously… I know that the kids does not have a curse from an invisible amulet. He does, however, have a recent problem curbing his cursing. Our old fashioned way of dealing with it was the administration of a dot of soap on the tongue. Since I learned that it is considered abuse, I’ve discontinued the use of it. I’m trying to find a solution that will work. I’ve already tried removing privileges and, of course, the naughty corner. These tactics have not deterred him from spewing ugliness. To make matters worse, the little ones have caught on and are being parrots. The last thing I need, is seven trucker mouthed children running around. What’s a mom to do?
Cleaning toilets is a nice activity to curb potty mouth, especially in large families.
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/280
I’m not sure if this article will help or not. I believe if you’re cursing in front of your children, then they’ll think that all cursing is ok, even if you don’t use that particular curse word. You have to watch what you say in front of them. I had an English Lit teacher that showed us that you could use a whole lot more sophisticated words than the usual curse words to make your point.
I wouldn’t tolerate any cursing in my house. I’d make it very difficult for any child that thought it was ok. But, those are my standards. Repeated behaviors call for tougher consequences such as loss of tv, outside time, extra time spend in their bedroom away from the rest of the family, etc.
Good luck!
I would be very careful. If you put him in the “naughty corner”, he might find that belittling and that could potentially emotionally scar him.
Just like the abuse of putting soap on a child’s tongue when he calls his mother or siblings B*s, it could dramatically alter the natural emotional growth of a child.
You should try loudly counting at him… repeatedly. I understand that has no affect on a child’s emotions at all and is the current prevailing trend. I hear it everywhere I go
“Billy 123. Billy! 123! 123!”
Hope that helps! (and that your son’s name isn’t Billy.)
But you are right, in today’s world “What’s a mom, or dad, to do?” when reasonable discipline is literally outlawed by others who are so deeply concerned about your child’s development that they sit in judgement upon your actions and motivations. Our forefathers would not recognize the country we live in.
I would say talk to him about appropriate language. Maybe there is something deeper going on with him. Also and this may be harder to do, but I would ignore him. It’s not really hurting him or anyone else. But maybe the reason he is doing this is because of the rise it creates. Getting in trouble may be better to him than getting nothing at all. I would ignore him and his siblings and see how long it lasts. It may be hard, but I bet they all get over it a lot sooner than if you make a big deal about it.
I love it….potty mouths get to scrub the potty!!! Genius, Marye
Now…I have to figure out how to keep from f**king cussing so much…oops!
Brian~ thanks for the laugh! why do I love sarcasm so much?? (My son’s middle name is William, my grandma calls him Billy. Ha!)
Everyone~ thank you for all of the great ideas
Love it Brian. I may be seen as one of those abusive parents since I don’t see anything wrong with a dab of soap on the tongue every now and then or a swat on the behind from time to time. It’s amazing that those that sit in judgment and sit around making rules for other parents don’t even have children themselves.
Blah! Why am I always “in moderation” at this site?
My parents used soap on my tongue whenever i lied to them. You can bet that helped me learn my lesson!
@ Karen – fixed the moderation
@ Brian – LOVE It! And couldn’t agree with you more.
@ Kadi – you really are related to me aren’t you? I have a real difficult time biting my tongue. The thing with me is when I encounter stupid people – my modesty and self control go right out the effing window.
I’ve always taught my kids that curse words are for grownups who are at least 18 and don’t live under mom’s roof.
When they were little and tried a couple of times to curse – they got their tongues swiped with hot sauce. Hot grown up mouths or biting teeth got that treatment. Just a little dab on the finger tip. I even kept medicine cups of hot sauce placed about the house to make it easy to get to no matter what room we were in.
Now I have two boys who like their food so hot it would blister your lips – but it worked well in it’s time and for the purpose.
Actually, have you ever heard anyone who had the soap in mouth method applied to them complain?
And I’m talking soap not hot sauce…
Update:
The potty scrubbing for potty mouths is working wonders! I highly suggest this method to anyone who wishes to correct bad language without the use of soap or physical punishments like spanking.