Lois

“I believe that people are good if you give them half a chance and that good is more powerful than evil. The world seems to me excruciatingly, almost painfully beautiful at times, and the goodness and kindness of people often exceed that which even I expect.”

- Lois Burnham Wilson

Born – March 4, 1891 in Brooklyn Heights, New York. (Of course – I see you JJ)

Died – October 5, 1988 at 97 years old.

Lois’ father was a gynecologist and surgeon. Her Mom’s name was Matilda and is described as “a woman of refinement.” Lois had two brothers and two sisters (a third sister died early in infancy). Childhood was “idyllic.”

Very interestingly, Lois and her siblings ran in such high society circles that their friends included the children of the son of Abraham Lincoln. Add to that small tidbit the fact that Lois no doubt met Ebby Thatcher before Bill did. Ebby was a friend of Lois’ brother Rogers and they all got together during the summer in Vermont where Dr. Burnham sojourned to care for his wealthy NY patients on vacation.

Rogers met Bill in 1913 and introduced Bill to his sister Lois. Lois was four years Bill’s senior and didn’t take him very seriously early on, but one thing led to another and eventually they fell in love to be engaged secretly in 1915 then married in 1918.

Lois was not able to have children due to a series of ectopic pregnancies. She and Bill attempted to adopt but Bill’s drinking apparently became the excuse for not being approved to adopt. This is described as “devastating” to both. (In the Twenties and Thirties couples didn’t automatically divorce due to circumstances like these.)

Bill’s alcohol abuse led the couple to homelessness and “all ambitions dashed and wonderful opportunities for employment and advancement shattered.” Even sober they had difficulties. (How many of us can identify with that?)

Through the graciousness of an acquaintance they settled down finally at Stepping Stones in 1941. It was there in 1951 that Lois adapted the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous to the Twelve Steps of the Al-Anon Family Groups. Please visit the Al-Anon Family Groups website here.

Lois Remembers: Memoirs of the Co-Founder of Al-Anon and Wife of the Co-Founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.