Looking to the Moon and the Stars …

I am a casual follower of astrology. What I mean by that is that I read my horoscope once a week, when the local free weekly comes out. I’m  a Leo and a fairly typical Leo, for the most part. Free Will Astrology is my favorite horoscope to follow. You can see yours here. Here’s what my latest horoscope says:

This horoscope presents three clues for you to work with. Here’s the first: I know a psychotherapist’s son who, while growing up, rarely received the benefits of his father’s psychological expertise. “The shoemaker’s child has no shoes,” my friend says. Here’s your second clue: In the Bible’s book of Mark, Jesus declares, “A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country, and among his own relatives, and in his own house.” The third clue: A neurologist of my acquaintance suffers from migraine headaches that he has been unable to cure. Now, Leo, I invite you to meditate on how these alienations may reflect situations that you’re experiencing. If they sound familiar, take action. It’s prime time to heal them.

Here is how this relates to me – I’m a romantic relationship writer with no romantic relationship to write about. I have all the advice in the world for anyone who cares to query me, but in the case of myself, I’m frozen in time and space. I think about wanting to try again – I sometimes stick my toe in the dating pool, but then I pull it out, put my flip flop back on, and run quickly in the other direction.

What is the point? I ask myself this question daily. I feel that no matter how much work I put into my last relationship, no matter how much that man loved me, he suddenly just stopped and I have no idea why. To love someone, you put yourself at another person’s mercy and sometimes that’s too scary to contemplate.

On the other hand, I know that I am good in a relationship. I’ve learned a lot over the years about what does and does not make a good partner and the one thing that I know I am good at, the one thing that I’m told time again and again by friend and family – I’m very supportive.

I need something, someone, to support. I want to join a team, a team of two. A duo. Pick me, pick me! No wait, I think I’ll skip the game and go read a book. Or ride my bike. Or head out with my camera. Anything but make eye contact with an attractive man, because I’m too damn scared and I don’t ever want to spend another day feeling like I felt for much of the last year. Unimportant, unlovable, invisible. It sucked.

I’ll do my best to follow the advise of Free Will Astrology, because it’s good advice, but the healing is going to take me awhile.

Did you check you use the link to check your horoscope?  What did it say?

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