I have been married to a wonderful man for almost 20 years and we have 3 beautiful children. But I married because I was comfortable with him, secure with him. He was my best friend. What I didn’t realize was that there is a huge difference from loving and being in love. I thought it was fairy tale stuff, and was told that by friends. We dated for many years before marrying. However, the huge differences in our emotional needs/physical needs didn’t get prounounced until about ten years ago. Up until that time children filled the void and used my engery. I probably could’ve gone the rest of my life without knowing. I wasn’t looking. I was happy. But someone slipped under the radar and I fell head over heels in love. Unfortunately for several reasons, this relationship cannot happen. However, my husband did find out about it, even though it’s platonic, it’s an affair of the heart. The other party is just as much in love with me. My husband and I are still together. Mainly for the kids. Mainly because we don’t know what to do. I know that it will end even if my heart is breaking at the suggestion. What is really depressing is I know that I could never love my husband that way. It’s unfair to him as well. But neither of us can bear breaking up our home. Stuck is the word that plays over and over in my mind at least until they are all in college or something which is a long way off. Now this is a sorry state of affairs…mainly because its more than just us. It involves three children who don’t deserve to have their world ripped apart. Many marriages including mine are friendship based. If it was just us, we could start over…..so while it is just you guys and you are not connecting…………run as fast as you can. Because there is someone out there you can’t live without, that can’t wait to be with you, that shares your passion about the same things, who will love you completely…..don’t settle.