February 25th is GIRLS’ DAY OFF!

My husband asked what to get me for Christmas and I said a day. A day to get this out-of-control hair cut. A day to have these wild brows waxed. A day to have a makeover and actually match my foundation to my skin. A day to slowly walk through the mall and touch fuzzy sweaters and try on cool jeans. A day of no writing deadlines to meet or dinners to make or baths to run. Just one day to get in tune with that woman I was 15 years ago who was cute and color coordinated and would never been seen in public wearing last season’s garb.

My husband gave me that day. It was boxed up under the Christmas tree with a wad of cash and a sweet note. A day. You know the sad part? I never took it. I took a few hours one day when my husband took my son to the dreadful Monster Truck Show (which I probably will protest next time given that two people have died at two Monster Truck Shows since then). During those few hours of free time I walked awkwardly through the mall and got a disappointing makeover and fondled some outfits. I left with a sack full of makeup that I felt guilted into buying and returned the next day, and a new bra so outrageously sized that 15 years ago I’d be celebrating but now I realize the increased cup size is due to the overall increase of fat on the rest of my being.

I’ve got to find my day before May – before my annual girls beach trip. There are six of us old college sorority sisters and we’ve been going on this trip for more than a decade. My friends are all quite beautiful and well kept. I have to keep up – pretend I’m just as well-kept – so before each trip I schedule a manicure and pedicure (often one of the only ones I get in the year), make sure my hair is colored and highlighted the best it can be, and shop for months to find four cute going-out outfits and a handful of slap-around shorts and a couple of bathing suits that hide my most embarrassing areas. I also make sure my underwear is not drab, since Anne managed one year to pull all my panties out of my suitcase and hang them from the ceiling fan while I was on the beach.

I feel so out of control of my life. Like I’m just floating the best I can on a boat without oars. I know I’m not alone. Call it the February doldrums, but my beach girlfriends expressed the same woes this morning on e-mail. Penny cannot get motivated to stop eating or start exercising (this, from the girl who did a triathlon six months ago!) and Cyndi is overwhelmed with a feverish son and helping out at the middle school and managing the children while her husband teaches his daughter’s basket ball team. Kathy is always busy. She’s a nurse practitioner and tells us frightening stories about the latest venereal diseases she’s encountered. She also is obsessed with diet and exercise. I mean OBSESSED, so that leaves no time for her to even sign up on Facebook. And Anne is naturally blessed with a flat tummy and no body fat. When she gets stressed she loses weight. Why can’t I have that problem? She has no children so she wigs out if her job makes her miss cocktails at the country club. And Rene. She rarely e-mails but when she does it sounds as if she’s about to run out the door.

So….I’m going to issue an official GIRLS’ DAY OFF. Since February is one of the suckiest months – cold and depressing – I think it should be this month, maybe Wednesday? Yeah, February 25th. The kids should be in school or daycare. If not, then round up a sitter. Forget work. Forget dinner. Forget laundry. Just go out and enjoy. I’m going to schedule a haircut, get that makeover, go shopping for clothes I’m not embarrassed to be seen in, and sneak in some cardio at the gym. I’ll also make plans to have coffee with my friend Lori, since I had to cancel on her last week due to all the other responsibilities hanging over my head.

I’m going to encourage Penny to go to BarMethod, Cyndi to Zumba, Kathy to eat a Twinkie and sign up for Facebook, Anne to not go into the office for once, and Rene to take time to send us an e-mail … with punctuation.

Now, here’s your orders, girls – including the ones I didn’t name. Start planning for YOUR day off! We deserve it!