Managing Relationship Stumbling Blocks: Stop Dating the Same Type of Man Over and Over and….
September 8, 2008 by Michelle Smith
Filed under Relationships
I found an interesting new relationship column at MORE Magazine. More Magazine is a publication for the mature woman, 4o and over. The columnist is described as:
Sherry Amatenstein, LMSW, is the author of Love Lessons from Bad Breakups and Q&A Dating Book. She runs dating seminars around the country and does private coaching — not to help singles marry in 60 days, but to uncover their blocks. She has given relationship advice on the Early Show, Regis, Inside Edition, CBS News, VH1, BBC, and many other programs. Her philosophy is that the most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself.
The subject I read about was Reinventing Romance: Unlucky in Love. Many women complain about meeting the same sort of men over and over again. The commitment-phobe, the cheater, the narcissist, the perpetual child,…….Is this beginning to sound familiar? Is it possible that we have something to do with choosing the same man time after time? If so, how do we fix this pattern of behavior?
The first step is some serious self-reflection. Are we subconsciously pushing people away or projecting behavior upon the other person? Are we manufacturing problems that don’t exist because we’re afraid that some day they will because that’s the way it “always goes?” Is it possible that our expectations are too high?
The second step, after identifying our part in the dating problem, is to come up with a plan of action. My problem was that I did not want to go out looking for somebody. I felt that the right man would come to me, that he would somehow be drawn to me. Ooh, lovely fantasy, but the reality was many years spent waiting, growing ever more uncomfortable with the idea of dating again. Luckily, I wised up and got proactive. I set up an online dating profile, went on a few dates, and while they didn’t lead me to my current partner, but they got me moving along the path that eventually did.
Do you have a dating stumbling block? Could it be time for a plan of action over-haul?
