Marriage Builder Monday

I look forward to the My Husband Rocks! posts and the Marriage Builder Monday posts.

Today Sarah posted about how we say things.

I found that interesting because recently I spoke on the same subject as it applies to children with ADD/ADHD on Simply Home Remedies.

The point is that words can build up or tear down. There are ways of saying things that get your point across without being mean…and honestly, there are lots of times when I say things that I probably don’t need to say at all.

I constantly fight with that balance, part of my personality/temperament/spiritual giftings shows up in a tendency to be very up front about what I think. This is not necessarily a bad thing, when spoken in love, nor is it a bad thing that I tell the truth…

But I need to choose timing, words, and motivation carefully. I like to read the story of Esther because it reminds me that even in life or death situations there is time to step back and think before reacting. There is time to choose words, and to pray.

I grew up in a not-so-very-nice-verbally home. I have tried hard to overcome this with my children. I am not naturally an encourager or a cheerleader. In fact, I am to cheer-leading as anti-matter is to matter. Not one pom pom in sight.

I have found it to be especially difficult to know how/when/why to say things since Marc got sick and our roles shifted so dramatically. There are times that his brain is not working like normal and I have to “take over”. That feels odd to me, and I don’t think either of us like it. My challenge is to not take over just because I disagree with something but only because he is in one of his fentanyl fogs.

Anyway, so this week I will, like Sarah, be analyzing my words, my motivations and how I handle things to see where I can improve. Check out her more Marriage Builder ideas on her blog.

Image: used by permission,Burgeon