May 9th & May 13th: Autism Every Day & Katherine McCarron
June 9, 2006 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
On May 9th, Autism Speaks (”the largest single organization devoted to autism in the nation“) screened the Autism Every Day video at a fundraising event, A New Day for Autism. In the video, one mother—with her autistic daughter within earshot—mentioned that she once thought of driving her and her daughter off the George Washington Bridge.
On May 13th, three-year-old Katherine McCarron was killed by her mother, Dr. Karen McCarron, who suffocated her daughter with a plastic bag. On June 8th, Dr. McCarron entered a plea of “not guilty” in the death of her daughter; on June 9th, Dr. McCarron was released on $100,000 bail put up by her mother, according to WMBD news.
So: Within one week back in May, there was a video about “autism every day” in which a mother talks about killing her autistic daughter in the presence of that daughter—-and then, a few days later, an autism mother kills her daughter over Mother’s Day weekend.
A recent article in the Chicago Tribune emphasized the “toll” that autism can take on a family—-as if to suggest, “killing one’s child is wrong, but when there’s autism, it must be so hard”.
Stop.
Killing one’s child is wrong, as Stephen Drake of Not Dead Yet and Mike McCarron, Katherine’s grandfather, commented on an Autism Vox earlier post. Mr. Drake writes:
It’s about time these autism “advocates” start identifying
more with the grieving father and paternal grandparents who actually raised and nurtured Katie than with the woman accused of killing her.
It is about time. Autism Speaks, we are waiting.
Parents of autistic children are pushed to their limits because of lack of sleep and sheer physical exhaustion. The job is 24/7 and there rarely is enough support especially in the early years of discovery to lift the burden as truly needed. If a parent’s only job was to care for their autistic child that would be overwhelming enough…but the reality is that parents still have other children to care for and even greater monetary demands, requiring necessary job concerns. I love my autistic nephew dearly and would never want harm to come to him but I have seen first hand the stamina, inner strength, physical strength, and love beyond all measure that is required to care for such a special child. He is now l2 years old and at times it seems life is somewhat easier for his parents…but there can never be enough support and understanding for these true heroes we call mothers and fathers…..
Judi, if you knew the first thing about what happened you’d not even be defending the murderer in the least.
Katie lived with her DAD. Several states away. Her mother had been with her less than a week.
And of course, murder is murder regardless of what brain configuration a child has. I don’t care what kind of stamina, blah blah blah, it takes…YOU DO NOT KILL A KID. Is that really so hard to understand? I mean, we know Alison Singer doesn’t get it, and Lauren Thierry, but they’re socialites and think rules don’t apply to them…why don’t REAL people understand this?
Also, Katie’s grandmother was living with her and her dad while Katie attended an autism school in a different state than where she lived.
And Katie was beautiful, precious, and happy.
I am not condoning murder….I am defending the mother who had the courage to admit her desire to drive off the Washington bridge. We need to listen to these cries for help as a society and work on creating greater and more accessible support systems for families with autistic children.
The George Washington bridge mother, Alison Tepper singer, makes 6 figures for her work with the eugenics organization. She’s hardly struggling.
If you have those sorts of feelings about your kid, you have options:
a) go to counseling. Go directly to counseling. Do not pass go, do not stop to throw the kid you want to kill into a room and smile at a camera while you talk about it.
b) Child protective services. They’re there for a reason. And then you can get your damn bagels with your socialite friends again.
I have zero sympathy for Ms Singer. I have zero sympathy for Mrs McCarron. I hurt deeply for the rest of the McCarron family, who lost a precious happy gift that gave more every day and NOTICED. And I hurt for Katie, and for Jodie Singer. But frankly I’ve heard too many sob stories that make me blink and say “and your point?” to have much sympathy for parents. Especially having known MINE, and having lived through the hell that is NT unaccepting parents.
It isn’t JUST SERVICES. Read it again. Katie McCarron DIDN’T LIVE WITH HER MOTHER. Not services there.
And as long as you have people pissing and moaning about cure and cause, there will never BE money for services. You don’t get it both ways. In the US this is what y’all get for insisting on declaring war on us I guess. Thank your buddy who wants to drive off the bridge with her kid, she can be reached via AutismWeeps.
Yes, parenting a special-needs child of ANY kind is hard. We get it. We don’t need that message drummed into our heads by the “good” folks at Autism Speaks. We also don’t need parents (many of whom are quite well-off) whining about the need for more services. We get that, too. The current support system today is inadequate.
The big problem is that some parents have convinced themselves that they are martyrs at the throne of something they can’t control. (or in many cases, was thrust upon them by evil drug companies) And once you get that thought in your head, you can justify all sorts of questionable things to do to your kid, whether it be experimenting with Lupron or locking them up “for their own good” or, well, what happened to Katie McCarron.
Whatever happened to love, gentle guidance, and acceptance of the person someone is?
…The big problem is that some parents have convinced themselves that they are martyrs at the throne of something they can’t control. (or in many cases, was thrust upon them by evil drug companies) And once you get that thought in your head, you can justify all sorts of questionable things to do to your kid…
Very well stated. Hear, hear.
I have two sons on the autistic spectrum, ages 5 and 8, and I have to admit there was a time where things were so bad that I had a thought for like a second of just checking out. My one son had been going through a period which had lasted months where he was not sleeping and in the afternoons when his meds wore off he was screaming at me and also hitting me too. By thinking this, It didn’t mean that I was going to do this; there’s a huge difference between having a horrible thought and actually acting out on this thought! Allison Singer shouldn’t be compared to the mom that suffocated her autistic daughter. She spoke about this thought she had in an attempt to convey what some, not all, parents of autistic children go through.
Wasn’t the main goal of the movie to increase autism awareness and thus increase the amount of funding for autism research?
Thanks for commenting, here, Michele, and sharing about your family. I guess it can be said that the “autism awareness” in the movie is one particular viewpoint and there are many others. One concern is that the statements about driving off the George Washington Bridge were made in the presence of Singer’s daughter Jody. Also, Autism Speaks has not yet made a public statement concerning the McCarron case (I could be incorrect regarding this).
Talking about thoughts to kill your kid belongs in the therapist’s office.
NOT on international fundraising videos.
End of story. You’d think the people with the social skills would know that.
I agree with Kassiane. There are somethings you should not have said on camara, those are one of them. There is something called “tact?” I don’t think the NTs have figured how to use it
Like the other parents, I have felt unsupported, exhausted and depressed. My husband used his own stress-relieving way of coping-ie:another woman. My son is severe, mute and aggressive but is a little beautiful giggly boy and I am fed up at the number of people who look at me pityingly or say he should be in care. He is my son, I would never wish harm on any of my children but it worries me that not everybody sees him as an individual. We need more positive publicity about the person as an individual so the general public will be more accepting and integrate the person into the community. Believe me its hard and juggling work is a nightmare and I wish people would understand how hard it is but he is a real person with feelings and his brother adores him.
@Linda Broadfoot,
I am totally in agreement with you about the need for more positive publicity and about seeing our kids as individuals. How old is your son, if I may ask? People look very differently at my son Charlie now that he is 11, taller than me, doesn’t talk much, does things that “mark” him as “different”—-and people too often don’t seem to note that he notices how he is treated, that is for sure.