Mom Knows Best – Avoid the Office Hook-Up
November 19, 2008 by Michelle Smith
Filed under Relationships
I found something interesting on Lemondrop today. They have series of posts(Ask My Mom) that have to do with advice from the writer’s Moms. These Moms are professional ladies: a nurse, a guidance counselor, a lawyer, and a therapist.
For this particular post, LawyerMom (writer Julieanne’s Mom) was at the helm and she advised someone who had an unfortunate, drunken, after-hours, hook-up with a co-worker. I mention it here, because Holiday Party Season is upon us – my own mom had her work party last Friday. Luckily, Mom was able to handle her margaritas and not embarrass herself (or anyone else). Thanks Mom!
On to the girl’s details………..
“A terrible lapse in judgment, I know — but I hooked up with a guy I work with after a group happy hour. I regretted it immediately, but the worst part is, he doesn’t. He won’t leave me alone and constantly references our awful, awkward tryst. I’m starting to dread going to the office, and I hardly get any work done because I’m so focused on avoiding him. Now what?”
LawyerMom explains that this hook-up could do a lot more than embarrass a girl. If the news gets out, then she could be subject to termination. LawyerMom advises checking her employment agreement or employee handbook. Some companies have rules against dating within the ranks.
The next step is to look at where they both stand in terms of office hierarchy. If he is superior to her, then it could a case of sexual harassment. LawyerMom says………
“…you have to take some immediate steps. First, reiterate to this guy that the encounter was a mistake and that any advances from him are unwelcome.
Next, even though it’s mortifying, you have to let HR know. Your failure to notify them about a superior’s bad conduct may affect your ability to pursue further remedies. Document any further advances, and keep HR informed. If he continues to harass you, consult an employment lawyer ASAP.”
If she and Hook-Up are equals, then she will have to bite the bullet and talk it out. She needs to make it clear that she is not interested in taking anything further and that she will not tolerate any further intrusive behavior. If it continues, she needs to talk to Human Resources.
If Hook-Up is a subordinate, again they need to have a serious discussion. State clearly that she has no interest in pursuing anything further. She needs to be firm.
“If your subordinate continues to pursue you, you may want to quietly let a colleague know so you have some evidence that you stopped it.”
LawyerMom goes on to preach some common sense – don’t drink on an empty stomach and limit your alcohol consumption.
Mom knows best. Always.
