Moments to Pause

Today my grandmother died. She was 89 and had been living in the low state of total care for the last three years. In a sense we’re glad she’s finally gone, but will, of course, miss her.

My mother passed the message on to me via mobile phone minutes after her mother died. My mother sat with her sister beside their dying mother for those final moments.

It wasn’t until I could sit and write in my journal that I could sort through my thoughts over my grandmother’s death. I have some regrets; one of those being the fact that I was 12 the last time I saw her. I felt upset, yet relieved.

Trying to describe my grief and mixed feelings isn’t the point of this entry today. I’m writing to say that the death of close family members is one of those moments to make you pause in your day, or life, to think about more serious things. I’ve always found my journal an excellent place for this kind of thinking. I’m glad I do write a journal. Having written down the details I can always look back and find a record of the day my grandmother died and how I felt.