More Drama Than Daytime Television
The teen boys in love drama keeps getting deeper. So deep in fact that MySpace accounts had to be deleted and to be honest, I’m not sure they’ll be getting those back any time soon.
Also seized are three cell phones.
Life around here has gotten far more boring – but so much more productive!
Yesterday was the day the cell phone bill arrived in the mail. It wasn’t the total amount of the bill that threw me into a state of shock – it was the number of text messages that pushed me over the edge.
As a fun dinner table activity, I gave each son a piece of paper with a number at the top of the page, a pencil and a calculator.
Step by step, I gave them instruction on what to add, what to multiply and what to divide.
- Take the number at the top of your page and multiply it by 2.
- Take that number and divide it by 60.
- Take the number you have now and divide it by 24.
One son, the biggest offender started with the number 4279.
What we discovered with this project was that in the month of April he sent FOUR THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY NINE text messages!
If the average text message takes 2 minutes to create and send (granted some are shorter and some longer, but I’m shooting for an average here) that means when all was said and done, he had spent 5.94 full TWENTY FOUR Hour Days sending text messages.
IF we consider that he is actually awake 13 hours per day – that equates down to just over 11 days. So he spent ELEVEN full days of his waking hours sending texts.
By confiscating the phones and allowing them ONE hour per evening on them, I have given my kids back a full 1/3 of their life they would have lost.
Just imagine, he was sending texts AND playing on MySpace. There was no life outside of those.
How many hours or days did your kid spend sending text messages last month?
(images: stock.xchng)
None. Mine are not old enough. HOWEVER…the television has gotten way too much use as of late. We need to cut back, especially with summer break arriving in 11 more days!
Way to go with the math equations! You’re a smart cookie and a good mama!
Oh my goodness! That is insane!!!! I don’t doubt it though. You should see the youth at church. They can’t even stop texting during church. They are addicted. It is such a shame. I told them they should have their cell phone surgically implanted into their body.
My gosh, that is astounding! Kudos to you for limiting them for the future.
My 15 year old son is trying to talk me into one. But, with the amount of time that boy spends on the phone (unlimited Vongage) and IMing I can’t imagine what happens if he starts texting too. We have MySpace blocked, but that doesn’t prevent girl drama in real life here.
WOW. That’s amazing how you figured that all out, and totally insane. 11 days! Glad Cedar isn’t ready for a phone yet. Geez. I had no idea kids were that into texting. I thought all the over text message jokes, were, well, jokes. I think I’ve sent three text messages in my whole life.
It is insane! I always try to get the kids to work out story problems to figure this stuff out to see if it’s truly justifiable.
Amazingly enough he’s not been very pressuring to regain more time on his phone.
In a way, I’m kinda proud of him
Help me out here–was that number (4,279) the actual number of text messages SENT? (I’m with Verizon, so my bill states how many texts are allowed in my plan for the month, then how many texts were used. It doesn’t state whether or not they are coming in or going out.)
Not that there’s anything right about having a COMMA in the number (total messages sent and received) to begin with. Good for you for setting limits and boundaries. My oldest is only 5, so this problem is a long way away for me!!
none. no cell phones.
15 year old felt that his myspace was a source of tempatin for him and cancelled it on his own and limited his own computer time. 14 year old has had his myspace removed. 12 year old recently discovered the church library.
My kids don’t know enough people to text that much.
Those cell phones that are preprogrammed to call mom and dad, emergency numbers, etc, are looking more and more appealing.
stumbled
We have unlimited texting and I’ve paid for detailed billing.
Yes, when there is a Comma used in the number of text messages – there’s a problem.
I’m keeping track of all this stuff so one day when God blesses each of them with those triplets I’m praying for, I can throw this ALL up at them when they start complaining
Marye, those were all sent to TWO people! Even if kids know only ONE person with text messaging, they can get the numbers cranked up in no time.
Can you imagine what he would do with a cell phone with full keyboard? LOL
Thanks Karen – I’m thinking those phones are sounding pretty good now too
My kids are, thankfully, too young yet for cell phones. When they want one, they will have to pay for it. I don’t even own one myself, so I’ll be damned if I am shelling out for them to spend all their days playing with them. And I just don’t see the need for MySpace. Go out and find some friends you can see and talk to them. I guess I’m behind the times, but so be it.
Good for you for dropping the hammer on them.
I have a 14 year old son and a 12 year old son that both have cell phones-not because they need “to keep up with the Jones’ (kids)” but because of necessity. We live quite a distance from my older son’s school and the rest of my boys take the bus home while I am picking up my older son across town. Anyways, to avoid any unnecessary calls they have the freebie phones-you know the ones that don’t have texting available. Actually my oldest is so embarrassed by how non cool this phone is, he never uses it unless he is stuck at school wondering where I’m at…it’s wonderful! They did purchase a ring tone once, however I made them pay me out of their own money and they haven’t done that since. Try getting a generic “no frills” phone and see what happens.
Two people? Dear Lord! Gayla..He nay have a future in blogging!
MAY have a future in blogging. not NAY.
hands don’t work today.
2 minutes per text message is an extremely high estimate. Most kids can type a solid text message in less then 30 seconds. Test your kids. see how fast they can type “hey whats up how are you doing” on their phone. And you also did not mention that this is the generation of multitasking, so it is not texting while doing nothing. If someone were to make an article like this critical of everything a child would do In a waking day, it would probably add up to well over 24 hours.
This -electronic communication- is probably the most significant generation gap since Rock N Roll
Anon-totally agree. 30 seconds while washing dishes and playing Wii.
Regardless of how long it takes for them to text, I think the real issue here is that 4200+ text messages is way too much. They are probably spending at least 1 1/2 days a month texting. That doesn’t include their myspace time. We finally had to put a password on our computer because we had youth coming over, spending hours and hours on our computer. If you can’t even sit through a class period or a church service without texting, then you’ve got problems.
I am part of the “cell phone generation”, being 30. My father had a phone pretty much from the moment they were commercially available. It weighed as much as a car battery and was twice as big.
So… I’ve grown up with cellphones. I also work in a tech industry where cellphones are a big deal. However, this is my stance:
Kids don’t deserve cellphones. Period. *If* they need to be in communication like that, they can get one of the child phones that allows them to call a small set of pre-specified numbers and nothing else.
They can have a phone when they can purchase and pay for it themselves, and are subject to all of the contract pains if they can’t keep up payments. Not before.
Wow..my daughter racked up 800 texts and I hit the roof…amounted to an extra 100 dollars on the bill…which was 400 dollars higher than usual due to the hours of overages talking to a boy who lives 6 blocks away…….
Oh my gosh! My sons are only 11 and 7 so I haven’t had to face this yet. I’m going to remember your little dinner time activity though for future reference.
This is a bit absurd. I know that I have made txt bills that high in a month and yes, it’s a bit excessive but I wouldn’t say that text messages replace real life interaction. They supplement. Teach your kid the right way to used the technology. Technology has so many goods but can be exploited. I’m not sure that pure negative teaching is the best idea. Instead of taking things away, why don’t you add something? Does your kid play sports? an instrument? do his homework? If your child is too busy, they won’t text, or won’t have time to send 4,000 a month.
oh my god.. you people are pathetic.
the fact that u all mention church is a clue into how backwards you are.. i feel really sorry for all your children.
I chose the “2 minute” timeframe as an average. With kids, it’s not just about composing the message – it’s about composing JUST the RIGHT message, sending and waiting on a response. Watching the phone in case it doesn’t record the incoming message with a sound. Some messages longer, some take 30 seconds – but the average is 2 minutes.
Next, I think the use of “church” is showing just how rude and out of touch children in this generation are. This whole “entitled” generation is BS. Kids are NOT entitled to anything. I truly don’t want my kids becoming long term liabilities that live in my basement for the rest of their lives and texting in Church is a clear sign of how rude and out of touch they are.
They need to know there are some places where it’s NOT acceptable to text. Church, school, funerals, weddings, MOVIE Theaters and ummm WORK – just to name a few.
Someone saying the use of the word “church” is backwards is obviously coming from someone who is knee deep in entitlement.
I get pretty irritated by the copout that “This is the electronic generation and it’s their culture and you old fogies just don’t understand..”
Anyone remember the book “Less Than Zero”? Fiction, to be sure, but all about rich kids in the ’80s in California. Their culture was one of snorting cocaine, casual sex, total disregard for others. Did that make it a culture to encourage? Should not the adults connected with these rich kids have made more of an effort to change it?
I’m not saying texting is akin to drug use (although it has its addictive properties). But I am saying that just because “everyone” does it does not mean that it is a good thing. Maybe I will be fighting a losing battle when my kids get to be teenagers. But I will fight the battle, regardless.
Ha! Who is this Javi person? I can’t figure out if he’s a religious zealot or what. Why is it wrong to mention church?
The fact that he types God without a capital G, or uses His name in vain while chatising others is simply priceless!
texting is always a secondary operation. Never will a person solely text and wait for a response. never.
Anonymous: Have you ever worked with teenagers? I’ve seen them sit around texting the people that are in the SAME room with them! But once again, I think the point to remember here is that 4200+ text messages is WAY too many!
Wow, I hope I never have to deal with this, I think that my husband would probably agree with Kadi’s husband’s methods, but as for javi, the only thing backwards here is you, learn to respect other’s beliefs not ridicule them, all people are saying is that it’s an inappropriate place, kinda like texting during a nice diner at a resturant. The scasy thing is that most teens wouldn’t see an issue with this. As for the idea that people who text this much aren’t keeping an eye on their phone is ridiculous. Texting this much is not a “hey this is the resturant and here’s the address” these are more of a conversational texting (probably because they know their mom would freak at them being on the phone this long) and it wouldn’t really work if the person who was texting didn’t get a reply for a few hours. And saying that you can multi-task is well and good, but it’s a bit like trying to write a paper while IM-ing, you tend to focus on the fun activity rather then the important one. So, in other words, Way to go Gayle!
i would just like to say, everyone who is saying texting in church is rude…why do you even drag your kids to church? you’re going to force them to attend something they obviously don’t want to and complain about how they behave. of course, you may say, we all have to do things in life we don’t want to do, but forcing a religion upon anyone, even your own child, is much more rude than texting in church, i think.
second, while i agree 4200+ texts is very high, i don’t believe kids aren’t “entitled” to anything. it’s your duty to support your kids. i’m not saying that you have to give them every thing their little hearts desire, or that a cell phone is a basic need of life, but if you have a cell phone yourself, don’t you think it’s a bit harsh to refuse to get your child one? if you chose to make your kid’s life miserable, then don’t complain when they run away or start cutting.
Ummm…just out of curiosity, how old are you pumpkin and do you have kids?
I am 68 and have 1 child who is 12
There are LOTS of things I “have” in life that I will NOT buy for my kids. To say just because I have one that I shouldn’t refuse my kids one is obviously coming from someone who either doesn’t have kids or doesn’t have kids old enough to want the expensive shit yet.
I have a car – won’t buy my kids one – they will work and earn it themselves.
I have nice computers – printers, video camera, digital camera – won’t buy them one. They earn those things on their own. Two of the three have computers – they earned them.
Dragging my kids to church when I go is not rude – it’s placing them in situations where manners and respect are a must. If nothing else, it places them in a “different kind of situation” where they can learn to behave and become more versatile. I don’t force my kids to go all the time – I don’t go all the time. But they do enjoy the youth group and in order to enjoy the fun that comes with the group – they have to attend church.
Kind of like going to work. Want to enjoy the benefits of a paycheck – gotta go to work.
I think it’s perfectly fine to refuse my kids things that typically are reserved as a reward for good bahavior.
Wow. You had him pretty late in life. How was the pregnancy? Having a child at 56 is pretty rare these days. In fact, I’ve only known of two women who accomplished that feat, using in vitro and other fertility treatments.
How did you come to conceive at that age?
P.S. what is cutting?
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q100/gggraham/529778578_l.jpg
okay. thank you for that disturbing visual. that looks like a blog post in itself, Gayla!
So I’m sorry to draw this conclusion, but I’m thinking that pumpkin is not who they say they are.
It is disturbing Kadi. My husband and I dealt with his daughter going through a cutting stage. I just don’t get kids these days. I personally think they lack attention – because both parents are having to work all the time to support the family.
I’m pretty sure pumpkin isn’t exactly honest either.
Oh Mylanta. Apparently, I need to do some reading before starting the new blog. I need to know this stuff so that when I do a post on it, I’m not asking the readers to expalin shit.
And I’ve just decided to wrap my kids in bubble wrap and join an Amish community. There is too much scary shit out there.
There is a lot more scariness then when we were kids! And it’s only getting worse.
pardon, the original pumpkin here.
my age is of no concern. i will say, i am much younger than you may think. or may not. i can’t read your minds, so i haven’t the tizziest how old you think i am.
yes, i do have a child.
i didn’t mean to offend, and i suppose i didn’t word my response as thoroughly as i should have. i try to be as open-minded as possible. i would never force my child to go to church, or any religious gathering for that matter. i have absolutely no problems with any following, however, i don’t think it’s fair to force my child to partake in a religion she may not even want to follow. if your child is claiming that they worship God and are texting in church, that is a problem. also, i did not mean to imply that texting in church isn’t rude. secondly, regarding the issue of kids needing to earn special things- i agree, they shouldn’t be just handed what they want. however, i do think doing chores should be rewarded with something. some may say being provided food, clothing, and shelter is their reward for chores. i don’t agree. that is your responsibility as a parent to provide those things. i’m not saying your kid does dishes, you go buy him a cell phone. say your child starts doing extra chores and does good in school, then you could reward them with a cell phone. i don’t believe it’s right to deny them extras they have worked for.
i hope i’ve made myself clear. before i end this comment, i would like to add that i in no way meant for this, or my previous statements, to imply that i know better than anyone else, or that i was trying to tell anyone how to raise their children. everyone should do what they feel is right. i have rather strong opinions, and tend to let myself get carried away.
If pumpkin does not respond any more, I think we will know why.
Anyway…
I have 36 neices and nephews. NONE of them have ever gone through a cutting phase and ALL of them have attended church all their lives, sometimes against their will. Dragging your kids to church will not induce cutting or running away, as pumpkin suggests…it may save them from getting involved in that sort of stuff. Life is a lot easier to swallow when you know that there is a God above who loves us and forgives us. (even if we do try to text in church!)
oh dear. I’m confused. there are 2 Pumpkins here? okay, then disregard my previous first sentence.
i would like to add a few notes on the cutting and running away dilemma. again, i realize too late i may have went a little overboard with that statement. of course, kids probably aren’t going to do those things because you drag them church or don’t get them that fancy new whatever cell phone is popular these days. however, i would advise that every parent should keep a good eye on their child, attempt to get to know their children as best as possible (not as easy as it sounds, especially with teens), and be very attentive to their behavior. youths, teenagers especially, are more clever than they let on and can be quite sneaky when it comes to hiding things from their parents. all i’m trying to say is, you may not think these things bother them, but it wouldn’t hurt to take a closer look.
However…
I think that a teen trying to text in church, even though it shows a lack of respect, is normal. Don’t you remember your teen years? My parents would have taken away such devices before we enetered church, if we had them back then. Regardless, it does not mean that the teen is turning his back on God, just because he is pushing the envelope. That is what teens do.
Your opinions are always welcomed here Original Pumpkin. Even if they do not fall in line with what Gayla or I believe.
kadi- i am the first pumpkin who posted. you will notice i rarely use capital letters.
Good point, Original Pumpkin (I have to call you that now)! I will probably be the nosiest parent on the block, when it comes to my teenagers. I’m so afraid of these things happening and being oblivious to it.