I agree and find it amusing that posters on a forum that requests compassion treats an outside poster in such a way as this.

Thank you for thoughtful and inspirational posts, Kimberly.

You are right, there is no law that we love one another. That is truly an internal debate best left to individuals. I don’t expect patience and consideration from those around me. I request it. And when a person has the humane senses to extend it to me and my family, I am grateful beyond words.

Those issues, in my humble opinion, are questions of personal integrity that are merely meant to make us examine ourselves as people, and see what sets us apart as a society.

The “How far is too far?” debate I am clearly the wrong person to settle. I have a close personal interest in the matter. As I said, any grace is welcome. For now, my family and I will continue going to the grocery store and rushing out if my son gets too upset. Rules for our existence would certainly assist us in bothering people too much.

There are two thoughts that many try to apply to their daily lives and I try to apply in mine. “Treat others as you would like to be treated” and “Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes”. Perhaps the application of these two principles would help both sides find a middle ground.

I think you have very valid points. I think that sometimes it is very difficult to see a good parent with a special needs child and give them patience, tolerance, and compassion when we are surrounded by imbeciles who don’t want to parent. How to differentiate… Whether we would like to believe it or not, it is human nature to be upset by an annoyance and I would think that people look to determine if it is the parent (poor parent) or the child (special needs) and assess on a case-by-case basis.

For what it’s worth, I’m a mom of three with extensive background and training in early childhood education. My two oldest sons are both diagnosed with autism. We’ve never taken a plane for a family vacation out of fear about just this sort of situation.

The disruptive nature of Autism, can leave those fortunate enough to have avoided living with it on a daily basis with a kind of head for the hills reaction that I dread encountering.

I get tired of explaining and apologizing. Despite what some have suggested, I believe that most moms of special needs children are very careful to avoid these situations. I facilitated an autism support group for a few years, and none of the moms there had a “well I have to deal with this every moment of my life, so get over it” attitude. But, could you blame them if they did?

Our kids have been tucked conveniently out of sight out of mind for a long time, and it has done no good. 1 in every 166 kids is the number right? Should 1 in every 166 families forfeit their public life to preserve the comfort of the other 165?

That being said, I think that there are a few lessons we can learn from a situation like this.

First, no person (child or adult) has the right to threaten the safety of others. If that was truly the concern, we must accept that the airline was trying to protect everyone involved. I know that is optimistic in light of the treatment many of us have endured, but it is clearly one aspect of this.

Second, I think it raises the question: If families like ours are not welcome to come as we are into society, where should we be? How should we travel? At what point does my sons abnormal behavior become too much for you?

Third, we must be careful to reserve the term discrimination for the places where it’s truly warranted. If it gets thrown into every situation where the word Autism is present, people will stop taking it seriously. (Boy who cried wolf…)

Lastly, I want to request patience for those of us who are doing all we know to do. Our deepest hope is for our children to find a place in the world as a whole. My son screams and covers his ears whenever he hears a siren in public. Is his expression of fear and discomfort somehow more bothersome to you the sound from the siren? Tolerance is less valuable to me than compassion. I would much rather people care about my son, than pity or tolerate him. Thanks.