Moving On

The choices we make in life may not always be the choices we set out to make, nor may they be the choices we want to make.

But ultimately, they are the choices we make and the choices we live with.  After only one infertility treatment my husband and I made a choice to stop treatments. Not only did we not have the finances but we also did not have the emotional or physical strength to do it again. Maybe that makes us weak but the process was pretty strenuous. In fact, I don’t know how people do it more than once.

I did an advanced infertility treatment right from the start, a treatment called ICSI, and it was extremely hard on my body.  I was bloated from all of the medications, constantly in pain, and the hatching and transfer was very painful for me because of my endometriosis scaring.

After the treatment failed (I knew the moment it did because of a hormone induced migraine) my husband and I knew that we had a choice to make and that we had to move on. Either we could continue to live childless, which was just not an option for us, or we could adopt.

Apparently, 10 percent of all couples today are facing infertility just like us. Some couples are successful with their treatments and some, like us, are not. Some couples make the choice to adopt and some chose to move on…childless. After years of trying to have children could you move on and not have children in your lives?  Obviously, it is a personal decision and one that each couple must make together. Not every couple can adopt a child. Likewise, not every couple can remain childless.

We simply could not see ourselves without children. Sure, there are mornings that I wake up and want more sleep or afternoons when I want to pull my hair out. But, when he falls asleep curled up in my lap all those thoughts are gone because I know we made the right choice. Our hearts are bigger for having him.