Multi-dating: Dating more than one person
December 1, 2006 by Sasha Manuel
Filed under Relationships
This is the opposite of exclusivity in dating. More people means more options. Options equates to a higher probability of finding the right match. Uh, or is it?
I guess that’s what dating is actually for — options. It creates an ideal scenario wherein you get to try out something until you find that one thing that suits you best.
However, it doesn’t always work out that way, right?
I’ve never been in a situation wherein I’m actively “seeing” several people at one time. More often than not, I always end up seeing just one person and that’s that. I’ll find out after a date or two if it’s not going to work out. So, the idea of individuals who actually can date more than one person at a given period of time is beyond me.
I guess that’s how I define multi-dating. Of course, it’s different when you have accummulated a lot of first dates over time. Even if it meant you have indeed dated more than one person, for me, it doesn’t fall under this particular practice. That occurence is actually quite normal. It’s simply — dating.
Do you approve of multi-dating? Do you think it’s healthy? Do you think it’s effective?
If you have experienced or are currently practicing it, would you mind sharing with us, so, we can understand it better?
I’ve never done it, it never seems to pan out logistically. While I’m busy lining up dates, the interest with the other fizzles.
Anyway, I think it’s a good idea. It helps keep things in perspective, so you don’t compromise who you are just because of the person you’re currently seeing.
Will it really keep things in perspective?
It’s good that you don’t want to compromise your identity for another. Is it to please that other person perhaps?
I believe that everytime you need to ‘relate’ to someone, you’ve got to do certain adjustments to make it work. However, I’ll only draw the line if that other person would obligate me to be someone I really am not. I’d rather be with someone who’d want me cuz of ME and not the ‘idea’ of me. Know what I mean?
I don’t know if it works, I’ve never been able to do it. What I do know is that it’s difficult to keep things in perspective in the early stages when seeing only one person. I know that after I’ve gotten out of these things, I looked back and kicked myself for what I was willing to compromise. You know, when you’re willing to compromise even your dreams because of whatever it is we all want or are afraid that we’ll never get?
I just thought that multi-dating was a strategy to avoid that. Of course, it may just have been a maturity thing back then, in terms of being able to resist compromising the core of who you are.
I never saw multi-dating as a strategy but rather as a scapegoat. Individuals who believe in the benefits they get from this action are simply running away from fears, IMHO.
I’m not sure if it is about maturity at all. Compromise needs room to happen and a whole lot of talking, long ones at that, me thinks.
Looking for a beautiful lady, but inner beautiful is a must. A lady who knows how to be herself, and not affraid to let her hair down. Sorry sisters i perfer white ladies.
Multi dating, yes. It is a very good way to make sure that you find the exact type of person you are out there in dating world to find. Of course you should not multidate if your intentions are not pure. Multi-dating is not an excuse to “be a player.” If you are serious about finding the right person to be with in a timely fashion than mult-dating is the way to make the most of your valuable time and effort to find your perfect match. I have tried dating one person at a time and so far none of those relationships have made it to the place i want them to be able to go and when the relationship is threw i feel like i wasted so much time i have literally thown years of my life down the drain by putting all of my eggs in one basket. I dont know if men care or not about the wasted time but i am a woman and i have a biological clock ticking away here. of course there are rules to multi-dating (ladies) that i suggest you ask someone about if you want to be a successful multi-dater and still be a lady to men you are interested in and dating. Ladies remember good girls don’t tell. So date every man you are dating as if they are the only one (s) in your life. I know that sounds underhanded and shady but unfourtunatly that is the way the game goes for a mult-dater. Always be safe and take care and concern for your body.
The concept of multi-dating is just an excuse to not to be serious in dating a person. The reason is, you cannot share your emotions across 10 different people and see what’s compatible. To seriously date a person, and to seriously find whether it’s a good match and to see if there are chances to fall in love, one has to be vulnerable and give a 100% in a date. You cannot share emotions with multiple people and except to have true trust, connection and feeling.
Multi-dating was someone’s joke to get rid of someone they didn’t like and the person didn’t want to leave.