Must Read: Ode to the Nice Guys
July 29, 2007 by Sasha Manuel
Filed under Relationships
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what
a$sholesguys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
Ode to the Nice Guys (A rant written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal)
It’s a bit of a read but it sure is worth it. Fun, interesting and definitely entertainingly informative. LOL.
Perhaps it’ll warm your heart, make you laugh, or click on that x mark on the top right corner of your browser, but, hey, it’s just a suggestion! IMO, it’s always good to be open-minded about these sort of things.
Happy reading!
Ack! This Ode is very disturbing to me. I can’t believe that you are actually condoning this “nice guy” behavior, which I wouldn’t label “nice” but more as “sucker.”
The writer of this Ode isn’t so much talking about nice guys but really guys who are always supplicating to women. They basically follow women around like lost puppy dogs and will do whatever is asked of them. Sure, it is kind of cute but you can’t really respect anyone who lets people walk all over them. This is why the “nice guys” aren’t getting laid. They lack confidence in themselves.
These nice guys are having a hard enough time as it is getting laid, so please, if you really want to help them, than stop encouraging their behavior.
-Matt
Are you saying you get laid a lot because you’re a nice-but-not-a-wuss kind of guy? Are you close to happiness because of the kind of guy you are and the woman of your dreams have finally found you? Perhaps you can share with us that story. Perhaps that’s when I’d heed your call for your kind and not the “nice-sucker” guys you’ve seemingly classified my taste in.
I favour the good in people — men or women — and will refuse to be coy or play games esp in the matters of the heart. And, oh, I happen to be with a nice guy and I’ll tell you more about him on my next post.
Sasha,
I’m saying that guys that are good at attracting women in a sexual way are the ones who are both kind and confident in themselves and their ability to attract women. Unfortunately, what is typically classified as a “Nice Guy” are guys that are afraid to show a sexual interest in women, they are too content on being in the “friends zone,” and never really putting their own passions and interests first.
As for my story, well, one of the reasons I feel strongly about this topic is because of my history as the typical “nice guy” who despite having hundreds of amazing female friends, never had any type romantic relationship until the last few years when I began changing my ways. I could go on and on…so, if your interested in my story you could simply check out my blog, which chronicles my journey from Nice Guy to Seduction Artist. A good place to start is the About page.
I’m sure your man is a great guy but my guess is that he is not the “nice guy” purported in the ode and as termed in the derogatory sense. As I say in my most recent post, there is a difference between “Nice Guys” and nice guys….
Matt Savage
Oh I’ve done that alright, read your blog a bit. But if you are going to visit my blog and try to discredit me for “condoning” the kind of men I wish to applaude then I apologise, you do have to leave some room for respect.
Help? Yes, I do want to help. Check the 10 Tips I dished out to all the male readers of Dating Dames a while back. Perhaps that’ll help get out of the rut you’re seemingly stuck in.
And I reckon one thing you should know is that if you refuse to accept who you truly are and think that being a “seduction artist” will give you your heart’s desire then by all means, go ahead. I won’t stop you.
Went through and checked out your 10 Tips articles and it is solid advice. You may be surprised to know that this advice is similar to that of the top pick-up artists today. The funny thing is, your tips contradict the behavior of the men portrayed in “the ode to the nice guys” post!
The tips I handed out aren’t meant to “snag” women, they’re meant to change a man’s lifestyle and view on things and himself. That’s saying that I don’t condone “seduction artists” or “pick up artists”.
That’s all I’m going to say about this matter. If you think that YOUR nice guy will not get women then fine. You choose what you want to believe. I’m done with this whole thing.
No, they don’t contradict, so, I stand by the ode, thank you very much.
I agree, there is no use arguing anymore. I wanted to have a healthy debate but I think you are too judgmental on the concepts of pick-up artist. Really, we’re probably just debating semantics. You place a lot of judgment on the label, “seduction artist” believing that it is a person who is simply out to have sex with many women. This is not true. I and many other men seek to engage and have better relationships with women after many years of failure.
Is it wrong for a man to want to become better at attracting women? Is it wrong for a man to want to create a lifestyle that draws the woman of his dreams? Is it wrong for men to want to have sex? Wow, I sure hope not. Because if that is the case then there are a lot of lonely, lonely men out there with no hope at ever achieving love.
Why am I still typing, end of discussion, right? No hard feelings.
Sincerely,
Matt Savage
haha, I’m sorry, I just had to leave one last comment. You claim that you don’t condone “pick-up artists” or “seduction artists” yet…in your sidebar you have several sponsor links that ARE in fact pick-up artist companies! One of which is the Mystery Method, run by the world’s best pickup artist. HA! I can’t help but laugh at this, because what you oppose is making you money. Ohhh, the irony.
I don’t believe in “spells” either, so what?
If you’re simply out to magnify the “wrongness” of this blog in contrast to my personal virtue. Go right ahead. It certainly feels good being righteous, yeah?
There’s a difference between condoning and condemning. And I’m sure as hell that it’s not the amount of money they can pay for advertising.
Wow Matt, why the aggressiveness? Is it because Sasha dared to disagree with you? I thought pick-up artists aren’t supposed to be fazed by refusals—or does Sasha threaten you in some way?
What’s up with this? You’re obviously on the same page: that the term “nice guys” doesn’t necessarily mean wussy, yet you resort to personal attacks? Have you even considered that Sasha’s apprehension for “pick up” or “seduction artists” is based on experience?
Well, perhaps my last comment post was out of line and not pertinent to the discussion so for that I apologize.
My issue is with the discussion of the “Nice Guy” article and was in no way trying to make any type of personal attack on Sasha. As I said earlier, I’m just trying to have a healthy debate.